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05-28-2012, 07:32 AM
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You may have seen our AskWomen video series, where we got some real women to have some drinks and answer your questions about whether a guy can ever get out of the friend zone (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-hP0oaxpAs&feature=g-all-u&context=G273c008FAAAAAAAAAAA), whether size matters (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJDGrSw9WHY) and whether body hair is a deal breaker (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AFULqzvG0Q). Well, here's a single girl's opinion on more of your questions. Readers have been kept anonymous.Q: What is the best way to approach and talk to women? I mean, on public transport, at a shopping center, at a club/event, when she is with her friends, etc.?A: Let me preface this by saying that while I fully expect to be skewered again for not fully answering the question at hand, perhaps one might consider that the questions being asked here don't ever have definitive, universal answers. Much like queries involving the meaning of life and reality of soul mates, this is pretty person-specific. Here is this person’s answer:The cold, hard truth of the matter is that a woman’s reaction to your approach (http://www.askmen.com/dating/player/25_love_games.html) varies wildly depending on how attractive she finds you. (No. 1 recommendation? Check out these 10 proven ways to improve your attractiveness (http://www.askmen.com/top_10/entertainment/top-10-proven-ways-to-improve-your-attractiveness.html).) Unless you have a special psychic sense that allows you intuit her personality, you're picking her up because of her looks. What most guys don't realize is that she's judging you the same way. If she thinks you’re super hot, your bad joke will probably go over way better than if she doesn’t.That being said, it is, of course, still important to engage a girl right off the bat. In my opinion, the best way to do this is to incorporate one or both of the following: humor and context. That is, be funny, and try not to be totally random. Humor is in the ear of the beholder, but context is pretty easy to explain. For example, if you’re shopping at Trader Joe’s, and you see an attractive female picking up a bag of Party Meatballs, you could casually stroll up to her and say something relating to how often you party hard with those meatballs and your friends Franklin and Bash, the renegade lawyers who practice law on their own terms on the USA Network. (For the record, I would find this totally charming and hilarious, but I love both Party Meatballs and the character development on USA).The point is that whatever you say, it helps if it's relevant to the situation you both find yourselves in. Women will appreciate that you pay enough attention to draw some parallel between the two of you, as opposed to a completely random statement that could essentially be directed at any girl in the world. By providing context, you’re creating a shared moment, and that is much more likely to engage her. So whether it’s about the song playing on the jukebox or her really awesome band T-shirt or her choice in toppings at the self-serve fro-yo place, commenting on your shared surroundings in a humorous way is the best way to go about it. What's also a pretty solid no-fail tactic is if you ask her a question with an "either/or" option, a question she'll be forced to give an answer to, and then -- no matter what her answer -- disagree with her. Never ask "yes" or "no" questions; you're just giving her an excuse to bow out. But something like, "My friends and I were just discussing something. What do you think: Harry Potter or Lord of The Rings?" And no matter what she says, shake your head and look puzzled, like she gave the wrong answer. It'll spark discussion and annoy her just enough to keep her in the conversation. It might not always work, but it’s for sure the least creepy approach. (For the record, commenting on how hot she is -- that's usually creepy and not awesome. Don’t do it.) Continue Reading (http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/how-to-start-a-conversation.html)
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You may have seen our AskWomen video series, where we got some real women to have some drinks and answer your questions about whether a guy can ever get out of the friend zone (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-hP0oaxpAs&feature=g-all-u&context=G273c008FAAAAAAAAAAA), whether size matters (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJDGrSw9WHY) and whether body hair is a deal breaker (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AFULqzvG0Q). Well, here's a single girl's opinion on more of your questions. Readers have been kept anonymous.Q: What is the best way to approach and talk to women? I mean, on public transport, at a shopping center, at a club/event, when she is with her friends, etc.?A: Let me preface this by saying that while I fully expect to be skewered again for not fully answering the question at hand, perhaps one might consider that the questions being asked here don't ever have definitive, universal answers. Much like queries involving the meaning of life and reality of soul mates, this is pretty person-specific. Here is this person’s answer:The cold, hard truth of the matter is that a woman’s reaction to your approach (http://www.askmen.com/dating/player/25_love_games.html) varies wildly depending on how attractive she finds you. (No. 1 recommendation? Check out these 10 proven ways to improve your attractiveness (http://www.askmen.com/top_10/entertainment/top-10-proven-ways-to-improve-your-attractiveness.html).) Unless you have a special psychic sense that allows you intuit her personality, you're picking her up because of her looks. What most guys don't realize is that she's judging you the same way. If she thinks you’re super hot, your bad joke will probably go over way better than if she doesn’t.That being said, it is, of course, still important to engage a girl right off the bat. In my opinion, the best way to do this is to incorporate one or both of the following: humor and context. That is, be funny, and try not to be totally random. Humor is in the ear of the beholder, but context is pretty easy to explain. For example, if you’re shopping at Trader Joe’s, and you see an attractive female picking up a bag of Party Meatballs, you could casually stroll up to her and say something relating to how often you party hard with those meatballs and your friends Franklin and Bash, the renegade lawyers who practice law on their own terms on the USA Network. (For the record, I would find this totally charming and hilarious, but I love both Party Meatballs and the character development on USA).The point is that whatever you say, it helps if it's relevant to the situation you both find yourselves in. Women will appreciate that you pay enough attention to draw some parallel between the two of you, as opposed to a completely random statement that could essentially be directed at any girl in the world. By providing context, you’re creating a shared moment, and that is much more likely to engage her. So whether it’s about the song playing on the jukebox or her really awesome band T-shirt or her choice in toppings at the self-serve fro-yo place, commenting on your shared surroundings in a humorous way is the best way to go about it. What's also a pretty solid no-fail tactic is if you ask her a question with an "either/or" option, a question she'll be forced to give an answer to, and then -- no matter what her answer -- disagree with her. Never ask "yes" or "no" questions; you're just giving her an excuse to bow out. But something like, "My friends and I were just discussing something. What do you think: Harry Potter or Lord of The Rings?" And no matter what she says, shake your head and look puzzled, like she gave the wrong answer. It'll spark discussion and annoy her just enough to keep her in the conversation. It might not always work, but it’s for sure the least creepy approach. (For the record, commenting on how hot she is -- that's usually creepy and not awesome. Don’t do it.) Continue Reading (http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/how-to-start-a-conversation.html)
http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/how-to-start-a-conversation.html ( More...