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07-11-2012, 07:41 PM
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Dating is not a one-man show. Some guys -- out of gratitude for getting the date in thefirst place -- forget that the woman has to play her part, too. You’ve worked up thecourage to ask her out because that’s what men do. You’ve chosen the spotbecause it’s your responsibility to impress her. And you’re paying, because,progress in sexual roles aside, men still need to step up and own that part. But what is her part in this dance? You may be leading, but if there were apanel of judges à la So You Think You Can Dance, both of you would bescored. We cannot forget that we have standards and that women have to meet them. Too manytimes I've seen guys planning the second date before they even consider if she deservesanother shot. So obsessed are we with the bragging rights and the ego boost that come fromher agreeing to see us again that we skip the part where we ask ourselves if she’sreally earned a callback. We have to remember that these first dates are asmuch about us learning about her as they are about worrying if we are getting it right. Ican even recall a time when I didn’t call my date out on some borderline racistcomments merely because the prospect of sex was on the table. She was hot, but there needsto be a line. With that in mind, here are five big deal breakers that separate the girlswho deserve to go home with you and those who don't. The Service-Appreciation RuleThis one is obvious, but it’s key. There are few things less attractive than rude.A good place to look for red flags is in howshe treats the waiter. If I'm out with an entitled girl who treats others around uspoorly, I'm looking for the door. A date that makes the waiter feel nervous or lesser thanus makes me feel like I need to double the tip out of guilt -- and rudeness is not a traityou can really change in a person. So while you’re sweating to make sure you ordertheright wineand have a good anecdote or two, don’t forget to make sure she isbeing respectful of the place you’ve invited her to. It is, literally, the least shecan do.The Dance-Around-The-Bill RuleYou’re paying. It’s pretty simple. If you have invited some girl to join yousomewhere, it seems pretty obvious to me that you better step up and handle the bill. Soif you’re on the lower end of the income meter, choose something a little moremodest, because the waiter is dropping that bill on your side of the table. But here's the kicker: We know we should pay, but that doesn't mean she should expectit. I know it seems like a circular argument, but a girl who doesn’t even look atthe bill when it comes is coming from a vastly different place than a girl who makes anoffer. She is allowed to tell her friends you’re a complete jerk if you let her pay,but you are entitled to the common courtesy of her offer. The fact is, this part is lessabout her sending you a signal of her appreciation of your gesture, and more about herbasic perception of relationship dynamics and even the way money factors into it. Thereare datingetiquette rules, and for me, if this one gets missed, things are off to a rocky start. Continue Reading (http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith/the-dating-rules.html)
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Dating is not a one-man show. Some guys -- out of gratitude for getting the date in thefirst place -- forget that the woman has to play her part, too. You’ve worked up thecourage to ask her out because that’s what men do. You’ve chosen the spotbecause it’s your responsibility to impress her. And you’re paying, because,progress in sexual roles aside, men still need to step up and own that part. But what is her part in this dance? You may be leading, but if there were apanel of judges à la So You Think You Can Dance, both of you would bescored. We cannot forget that we have standards and that women have to meet them. Too manytimes I've seen guys planning the second date before they even consider if she deservesanother shot. So obsessed are we with the bragging rights and the ego boost that come fromher agreeing to see us again that we skip the part where we ask ourselves if she’sreally earned a callback. We have to remember that these first dates are asmuch about us learning about her as they are about worrying if we are getting it right. Ican even recall a time when I didn’t call my date out on some borderline racistcomments merely because the prospect of sex was on the table. She was hot, but there needsto be a line. With that in mind, here are five big deal breakers that separate the girlswho deserve to go home with you and those who don't. The Service-Appreciation RuleThis one is obvious, but it’s key. There are few things less attractive than rude.A good place to look for red flags is in howshe treats the waiter. If I'm out with an entitled girl who treats others around uspoorly, I'm looking for the door. A date that makes the waiter feel nervous or lesser thanus makes me feel like I need to double the tip out of guilt -- and rudeness is not a traityou can really change in a person. So while you’re sweating to make sure you ordertheright wineand have a good anecdote or two, don’t forget to make sure she isbeing respectful of the place you’ve invited her to. It is, literally, the least shecan do.The Dance-Around-The-Bill RuleYou’re paying. It’s pretty simple. If you have invited some girl to join yousomewhere, it seems pretty obvious to me that you better step up and handle the bill. Soif you’re on the lower end of the income meter, choose something a little moremodest, because the waiter is dropping that bill on your side of the table. But here's the kicker: We know we should pay, but that doesn't mean she should expectit. I know it seems like a circular argument, but a girl who doesn’t even look atthe bill when it comes is coming from a vastly different place than a girl who makes anoffer. She is allowed to tell her friends you’re a complete jerk if you let her pay,but you are entitled to the common courtesy of her offer. The fact is, this part is lessabout her sending you a signal of her appreciation of your gesture, and more about herbasic perception of relationship dynamics and even the way money factors into it. Thereare datingetiquette rules, and for me, if this one gets missed, things are off to a rocky start. Continue Reading (http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith/the-dating-rules.html)
http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith/the-dating-rules.html ( More...