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08-08-2012, 08:35 AM
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I think it’s safe to say that if you’re a male between the ages of 18 and 35,you’re aware of pickup artists, or “PUAs.”I wanted to explore the culture and how it’s evolved since the early days, so I satdown with none other than NeilStrauss, one of the most famous and controversial PUA public figures. I asked himabout how much his image as a PUA has changed, as well as some thornier topics thatI’ve seen bandied around the internet lately, namely intersections between PUAculture and so-called rape culture. (Actually, I didn’t physically sit down withStrauss. I talked to him over the phone, and while I was seated the whole time, Idon’t suppose I can make the same assumption about him. Just in the interest of fulldisclosure, I guess.)PUA culture has been in the news for years. In its earlydays, it was more or less an online community of guys trading tips on how to successfullyapproach, attract and bed women. PUA culture was thrust into the spotlight by Strauss,who, for personal reasons, sought out and infiltrated the fledgling movement, becoming oneof the world’s most successful PUAs in the process. His 2005 book, TheGame: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, became a runaway bestsellerand made household phrases out of PUA jargon like “neg,” “coldopener” and “peacocking.”But in 2012, the PUA has become inpopular culture -- and in the minds of many men -- a maligned member of society, a runningjoke of a man who desperately turns to subversion in order to trick women into sleepingwith him. For better or worse, I think most of us still have in our minds that image ofthe PUA known as “Mystery” (the primary subject of The Game), dressedlike Abe Lincoln in drag and “negging” women.To Strauss, the term“pickupartist” is outdated. Though he’s primarily a writer, Strauss runs Stylelife Academy, an online programthat’s less about the canned routines and tactics of the early days and insteadpromises a customized approach to improving dating performance. According to Strauss,“[It] provides a non-emasculating way for guys to improve themselves. Guys who cometo me get it. These are guys who really want to improve, and total improvement (not justlimited to success with women) is a real possibility. The Game was really a bookabout male insecurities, and for people to just take away from that ‘negging’and ‘peacocking’ saddens me a little.”I think he has apoint, and it contradicts a greater assumption made by those who object to PUA culture --that guys who seek out dating advice aim to become sexual superstars or pullboy-band-esque levels of tail. Most men simply have no idea what to do when standing infront of a woman. I’ve read interviews with other “coaches,” and a lotof those guys claim that the trend now is that guys are moving away from trying to justsleep with women and are more interested in learning how to cultivate relationships. Dating coaching is more mainstream now than it’s ever been (hell, we publishit here on AskMen probably once per week), so to me it’s plausible that men justlooking for relationship advice don’t feel burdened by the stigma traditionallyattached with the PUA industry.Strauss, on the other hand, isn’tnecessarily sure. “People don’t change, and definitely not in the six-plusyears since The Game came out. I haven’t seen any rift or shift in thepeople who want relationships, just sex, marriage, etc. I think putting the pretension ofa relationship into the initial interactions with anyone is a bad thing. I’d ratherhave a bad fling than dive into what turns out to be a bad relationship.” Can’t argue with him there. He also adds, “If it [men looking for coachingin more traditional relationship] is a trend, it’s because it feels likethere’s definitely an element of our society that shames men out of wanting to meetwomen.” Again, it’s hard to argue with him. Regardless of what other socialtrends are on the rise, I have a hard time believing that guys in their teens and 20s havegiven up on the idea of sowing their wild oats. When guys stop being motivated by theprospect of sex, our species has a problem. Continue Reading (http://www.askmen.com/entertainment/austin/the-future-of-the-pua.html)
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I think it’s safe to say that if you’re a male between the ages of 18 and 35,you’re aware of pickup artists, or “PUAs.”I wanted to explore the culture and how it’s evolved since the early days, so I satdown with none other than NeilStrauss, one of the most famous and controversial PUA public figures. I asked himabout how much his image as a PUA has changed, as well as some thornier topics thatI’ve seen bandied around the internet lately, namely intersections between PUAculture and so-called rape culture. (Actually, I didn’t physically sit down withStrauss. I talked to him over the phone, and while I was seated the whole time, Idon’t suppose I can make the same assumption about him. Just in the interest of fulldisclosure, I guess.)PUA culture has been in the news for years. In its earlydays, it was more or less an online community of guys trading tips on how to successfullyapproach, attract and bed women. PUA culture was thrust into the spotlight by Strauss,who, for personal reasons, sought out and infiltrated the fledgling movement, becoming oneof the world’s most successful PUAs in the process. His 2005 book, TheGame: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, became a runaway bestsellerand made household phrases out of PUA jargon like “neg,” “coldopener” and “peacocking.”But in 2012, the PUA has become inpopular culture -- and in the minds of many men -- a maligned member of society, a runningjoke of a man who desperately turns to subversion in order to trick women into sleepingwith him. For better or worse, I think most of us still have in our minds that image ofthe PUA known as “Mystery” (the primary subject of The Game), dressedlike Abe Lincoln in drag and “negging” women.To Strauss, the term“pickupartist” is outdated. Though he’s primarily a writer, Strauss runs Stylelife Academy, an online programthat’s less about the canned routines and tactics of the early days and insteadpromises a customized approach to improving dating performance. According to Strauss,“[It] provides a non-emasculating way for guys to improve themselves. Guys who cometo me get it. These are guys who really want to improve, and total improvement (not justlimited to success with women) is a real possibility. The Game was really a bookabout male insecurities, and for people to just take away from that ‘negging’and ‘peacocking’ saddens me a little.”I think he has apoint, and it contradicts a greater assumption made by those who object to PUA culture --that guys who seek out dating advice aim to become sexual superstars or pullboy-band-esque levels of tail. Most men simply have no idea what to do when standing infront of a woman. I’ve read interviews with other “coaches,” and a lotof those guys claim that the trend now is that guys are moving away from trying to justsleep with women and are more interested in learning how to cultivate relationships. Dating coaching is more mainstream now than it’s ever been (hell, we publishit here on AskMen probably once per week), so to me it’s plausible that men justlooking for relationship advice don’t feel burdened by the stigma traditionallyattached with the PUA industry.Strauss, on the other hand, isn’tnecessarily sure. “People don’t change, and definitely not in the six-plusyears since The Game came out. I haven’t seen any rift or shift in thepeople who want relationships, just sex, marriage, etc. I think putting the pretension ofa relationship into the initial interactions with anyone is a bad thing. I’d ratherhave a bad fling than dive into what turns out to be a bad relationship.” Can’t argue with him there. He also adds, “If it [men looking for coachingin more traditional relationship] is a trend, it’s because it feels likethere’s definitely an element of our society that shames men out of wanting to meetwomen.” Again, it’s hard to argue with him. Regardless of what other socialtrends are on the rise, I have a hard time believing that guys in their teens and 20s havegiven up on the idea of sowing their wild oats. When guys stop being motivated by theprospect of sex, our species has a problem. Continue Reading (http://www.askmen.com/entertainment/austin/the-future-of-the-pua.html)
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