1 SAD SORRY MF'r

[apollo]

I dont usually post stuff like this but I'm not usually sad. I had to send my kids and their mama off to another location for various reasons(not security) and though I'm following soon- it's fuckin killing me! To be in a quiet house and to see their toys and to not have them maul me when i come into the room or get home from the lab and see their faces light up and to have my youngest beating on my bedroom door saying: "DADDA! DADDA!" No wrestling, hugs and kisses and no riding partner to go places with. Just an empty house with a bunch of things that mean nada! yeah i could go get a peice of ass or something but pleasure only masks pain temporarily- it does'nt cure it. I am not anxious- just SAD. All the roles that my role of being a father include is my favorite part of life and a huge motivation for why I work so hard. otherwise i'd just skate and get ass. But skating in a rink with just released out of jail pornstars is'nt better than lovin and bein loved by your children. Especially at young and loving and impressionable ages. I am really down. the beauty of Nature nor riding my Harley or anything can remove it til I'm with them again- which will be soon- Thank goodness.

[SYNTHRO-RX]

I dont usually post stuff like this but I'm not usually sad. I had to send my kids and their mama off to another location for various reasons(not security) and though I'm following soon- it's fuckin killing me! To be in a quiet house and to see their toys and to not have them maul me when i come into the room or get home from the lab and see their faces light up and to have my youngest beating on my bedroom door saying: "DADDA! DADDA!" No wrestling, hugs and kisses and no riding partner to go places with. Just an empty house with a bunch of things that mean nada! yeah i could go get a peice of ass or something but pleasure only masks pain temporarily- it does'nt cure it. I am not anxious- just SAD. All the roles that my role of being a father include is my favorite part of life and a huge motivation for why I work so hard. otherwise i'd just skate and get ass. But skating in a rink with just released out of jail pornstars is'nt better than lovin and bein loved by your children. Especially at young and loving and impressionable ages. I am really down. the beauty of Nature nor riding my Harley or anything can remove it til I'm with them again- which will be soon- Thank goodness.

Bro, i know how you feel completely. I recently just went through a seperation with my baby and his baby momma and its hard bro, but atleast you still will be together soon. Me on the otherhand, im dealing with child support, lawyers, custody, etc etc! but i do atleast get to see my son 3 times a week, and it kills me everytime i have to take him back. I know what you are going through, in a way. It will all be good bro. you are doing the right thing.

[JerkKILLER]

Sorry to hear that man, but I'm sure they're feeling the same way about you.

Dont worry, you'll be back with them soon enough.



On another note, did u get a chance to retype that loooooooooong email to me?
I got the short one where you were pissed off! lol :D

[ChemicallyEngineered]

From one father to another I completely sympathize with you bro. The few times that my wife and i wanted to have an "adult night" and had my parents or hers watch the baby, 1/2 way through the night we both wanted to go get him. Our lives really are all about our child, amazing how one little smiling face changes every facet of your life. Make sure you give them all extra big hugs when you see them!!!!

[Born2Juice4Ever]

Hey man keep your head up and do not get down....it sounds as though you have a heavy task ahead of you, but you will get it done for sure.

One other reason for which I have not had little Born2Juiceers....and cannot see myself ever having any. Too damn busy and too much pain out in this world.

You have a lot of support here bro, stay focused!!


B2J

[guns01]

thoughts and prayers big a. you will get through this bro. it makes it better in the end. imagine having to walk away to deploy at the drop of the hat, sometimes back to back with no idea if and when you are coming back. it is so hard very hard. but on the other hand so much better when you get back together.

[bionic redneck]

i hear u bro.. as a father also.. i have to put up with my ex every other weekend... and it sucks to only see my child then and on holidays..it tears ones heart out

[apollo]

Synthro- I am lucky my BM is an lazy, airheaded angel. Yet her bein gone would be a blessing if it were'nt for the kids. She's a very good person though and though my way of raising them perhaps is'nt the norm- she see's the results of it in them and that she cant argue with. She would never get the courts involved. I feel for you bro. My whole life is about being free from other mens' outside control. To have some judge tell me what I was gonna do and to know it went against god's(not neccessarily biblical god) nature itself- I dont even no what i would do. When govt intervenes for a child's legitimate saftey- as a service- fine. But when a govt says there is only one way to rightly raise a child and we decide that way over the parents and take ownership or governship over a child/parent relationship and ultimate responsibility for the parents relationship- then that is tyrrany. A conglomerate tyrrany but tyrrany all the same.

J.K. no they dont- and that's the part that makes me happy. They are now with their own kind and reunited with their better family(mine is thin and fucked) hers are bigger, tight and less fucked- LOL Where we were my oldest was lonely bc he was the foreigner. My girl had to get into therapies and school bc she has mild autism. But right now they are so happy! They get to finally recieve last years Christmas and socialize on a large scale and it's only been a cpl-few days- so they are happy as shit- LOL!
i'll get to that tonight bro.

thanks CE.

B2J man I once thought i did'nt want any. Maybe it was bc I thought I would have to give up my selfish ass chasing ways but on what you said: Pain is neccessary for movement. It's our most basic nature to move away from pain and toward joy or pleasure. The problem is when all we know is pain and are comfortable in it and keep recreating it unknowingly. In letting go, being fools and relearning we can move outside of the known. However, what you said has a humility to it; that you are not mighty enough to protect them from all the pain. That is true and it's good that no one is bc then no progress would be made.

Damn guns ya'll are definately making me thankful and that is a great cure for sadness. Now I'm sad for you and Synthro.

Diesel- i'm sorry bro. i'm lucky in that my BM does not challenge my fatherhood. Period. of course I back her up to.

I just cant wait to get outta here and to a place I hate to be with my kids.

[guns01]

keep your head up man. we r here for you anytime anyplace. thats what we do for one another in my community of brothers and i would be happy to believe that you can find that here as well.

[rocco-x]

knew somethin was botherin you Apollo.you don't "sound" the same in your e-mails.keep your shit tight bro,you'll be back with them soon enough and i betcha it'll bring you guys that much closer.you're a real good dude Apollo.hate to think of your playfiend ass depressed...

[TheyCallMeX]

Hey bro,

I'm the same way. I kind of shocked myself when it came to being away from my girl and family. Sometimes they all get very overbearing and I think to myself, "Damn...I would absolutely just LOVE some time to myself to RELAX in some peace!" But whenever it came down to it and I was away with college and whatnot, it was the total opposite. From the day I was away with them, I missed nothing more than my girl and my family. You'll be with them soon. Take care bro, and if theres anything you ever need you've got myself and your family here.

[rocco-x]

JUST WANNA SAY THNX ONCE AGAIN APOLLO FOR DOIN WHAT yOU DO.NEVER A WORRY."SET IT N FORGET IT!"

[guns01]

hey apollo you doing alright bro. havent seen ya in a minute

[1bigun11]

But skating in a rink with just released out of jail pornstars is'nt better than lovin and bein loved by your children. The beauty of Nature nor riding my Harley or anything can remove it til I'm with them again- which will be soon- Thank goodness.

I have no children. So I guess I'll have to make do with empty sex with the porn star women, drinking beer, and riding my Harley. Woe is me! LOL

[apollo]

LOL! I was once just like that. Enjoy it while you can bro. All you guys- thanks alot bros! You're welcome Rocco- Pretty huh? LOL