Gisele vs. The Patriots: Why She's Right

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As we’re all aware, one over-hyped, red-and-blue-clad mediocre team bested anotherover-hyped, red-and-blue-clad mediocre team this Sunday in what for once turned out to bea pretty good Super Bowl. Much as I don’t care for him, Eli Manning lookedphenomenal. TomBrady looked pretty good himself, except for one problem: He couldn’t find a wayto play on both sides of the line of scrimmage.Or at least that was theproblem according to one noted NFL analyst. I’m talking, of course, about GiseleBundchen, Tom Brady’s supermodel wife. After New England’s failure toproduce a game-winning drive in the fourth quarter, Gisele responded to heckling whileleaving the stadium with the following:“I can’t believe theydropped the ball so many times. My husband cannot f*cking control the ball and catch theball at the same time.” Whoa there, Gisele. Take it easy. Everyone knows youwin and lose as a team, right? That’s what other Pats players are saying, anyway.Apparently it’s not cool to trash other players in public after a game, andthat’s doubly true for the spouses, who ostensibly don’t have any idea whatit’s like to do something requiring such athletic prowess under such scrutiny. Howcould they, unless they’re professional athletes themselves? It’dbe bad enough if it were any spouse, but the fact that it was Gisele saying this stuff hasfans and the players especially riled up, and I can see why. Her fame is its own entityapart from her husband’s, and her intrusion into the team rhetoric definitely givesoff a certain Yoko Ono vibe, making Tom seem more important than the group as a whole.Keep in mind, too, that this is just a taste of it on the national stage; real New Englandfans (all 12 of them) have been dealing with this for years. No one wants a supermodelbimbo wife coming in and ruining their supermodel bimbo quarterback for the rest of theteam.I think her critics have a fair point, because when you ascend to thethrone of football royalty, part of the job is maintaining your composure in public, evenin the face of heckling New Yorkers (the best in the business). I also completelyunderstand how other players are upset, if for one simple reason: She was kind ofright.But can we please, just for a little while, stop pretending that anyoneactually believes the whole “we win and lose as a team” bullsh*t? Yes,it’s entirely possible in a big win that the team’s chemistry was perfect,allowing for a decisive, seamless defeat of an opponent. Similarly, it’s possiblethat absolutely nothing goes right and the whole team looks like they might as well beplaying on a high school junior varsity squad. I get it, it happens -- but not nearly asoften as success or defeat hinging on a few players’ successes or failures.I’m tired of millionaires who are paid to play a game shirking responsibility whenthey seem completely unable to do their jobs.Most often, the team rhetoriccomes from the few people responsible for the team’s win or loss. The kicker whobooted the game-winning field goal or the receiver who made the physics-defying grabdoesn’t want to appear boastful, because everyone remembers how well that turned outfor Terrell Owens. Instead, they appear modest, credit the whole team and probably make alot of footballeuphemisms for all the casual sex they’ll go on to have that night. Continue Reading

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