AskMen Imagines: 4 Ways Lindsay Lohan Can Make A Comeback

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There’s nothing Hollywood likes more than a good old-fashioned comeback, and tonightLindsayLohan gets what many are calling her final shot at one when she hosts SaturdayNight Live for the fourth time. The last few years have been a personaland professional nightmare for Lohan, who latched onto projects that either never made itto production, or just really, really sucked. In between her start-and-stop comebackattempts, Lohan spent the majority of her days either in court, jail, morgues, or jewelerystores, and has displayed more self-destructive tendencies than the entire cast ofHoarders combined. In other words, she’s been virtually unemployable. 2011was a particularly rough year for the actress (can we still call her that?) who resortedto starring in New Zealand airline commercials and doing her best Marylin Monroeimpersonation in the pages of Playboy just to pay her mounting lawyerfees. Luckily for Lohan, late-night impresario Lorne Michaels has longhad a soft spot for the troubled actress, who first hosted Saturday Night Live in2004 when she was still just a doe-eyed teenager with all the promise in the world.Tonight, Michaels gives her one last shot to fulfill that promise. If she fails, look forLohan on the next season of Celebrity Apprentice. But if the show is a hit, theLindsay Lohan comeback is officially on. And because we, too, have a soft spot for LiLo,here are four suggestions on how to make that comeback complete.Hook up with Judd Apatow

If there’s one man in Hollywood who can make even the most unlikable actresseslikable, it’s JuddApatow, who for 129 minutes had us drooling over the usually grating Katherine Heiglin Knocked Up. Yes, most of his films are heavy on the dick jokes, but the goodnews is lately Apatow has been in touch with his feminine side, producingBridesmaids and HBO’s upcoming Girls, a Sex and The Cityfor the hipster set. If Lohan can prove that she can still bring the funny onSNL, look for Apatow to start brainstorming ways to get her in bed with JonahHill, Seth Rogen and Jason Segel, preferably at the same time. OurSuggestion: Isaac and Isabelle, a raunchy rom-com about a schlubbyJewish stoner from Brooklyn (insert Seth Rogen here) who falls in love with a polishedprincess from the Upper East Side. Will their judgmental families keep them apart? Willtheir different backgrounds be too much to overcome? Will Isabelle suddenly remember thatshe hates fat dudes? Star in a low-budget indie film

The one thing Sundance is better at than launching the careers of young, talentedupstarts is resurrecting the careers of washed-up Hollywood has-beens, and, sadly, at just25, Lohan already qualifies. Major success at Robert Redford’s annual Park Citypowwow infuses a film with instant cred, which is something Lohan is in desperate need of.In 1994, Quentin Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction gave new life to JohnTravolta’s sagging career, and just over a decade later, although it never showed atSundance, Darren Aronofsky’s The Wrestler turned '80s icon Mickey Rourkeinto an Oscar-nominated actor. Lohan, whose career was stalled by the same off-screentroubles that once plagued Rourke, could benefit from aligning herself with afresh-out-of-film-school rookie with a big idea, instead of shopping around a sequel toHerbie Fully Loaded.Our Suggestion: TheSinger, a redemptive story about a former pop star whose struggles with drugs andalcohol have derailed her career and alienated her from fans and family. It worked forRourke, who like Lohan had little friends in Hollywood when The Wrestler wasreleased, and like Lohan, had a really, really puffy face.Don’t be afraid to do TV

Whereas some studios have been hesitant to take a chance on Lohan in the past, she mightactually strive under the controlled routine that comes with shooting a full season.It’s also the perfect way for her to prove to the powers that be that she can arriveto set on time and hit her marks on a consistent basis. She just needs to avoid workingwith Two and a Half Men’s Chuck Lorre (we heard a rumor that he tends toclash with former drug addicts). Our Suggestion:Over-Seasoned, a documentary-style look at what happens when a spoiled rich girlfrom Connecticut decides to pursue her dream of becoming a chef, taking a job in ahigh-pressure, male-dominated Manhattan kitchen. Will she fall in love with the edgytattooed sous chef from Williamsburg? Or will Bubbles, the awkward, slightly autisticdishwasher with a heart of gold win her heart? Plus, if HBO picks it up, there’s avery good chance we'll see her boobs. Do a play

There’s no better place to test an actor’s chops than under the bright lightsof a stage. Some of Hollywood’s biggest stars have headlined shows on Broadway andoff at the height of their careers, mostly to satisfy their love of acting in a way thatonly doing theater can. Yes, the schedule can be grueling -- eight shows in seven nightsis not for the weak-willed -- but the reward is significant. Ask any actor, andthey’ll tell you that nothing compares to the immediacy of a theateraudience’s reaction. It’s also beneficial for actors who want to be taken moreseriously. When Daniel Radcliffe realized that we may never see him asanything other than a bespectacled boy wizard with a lightning bolt on his forehead, hedid Equus in London’s West End, showed us his penis, and we haven’tlooked at him the same way since. If Lohan can win over audiences over the course of asimilar theatrical run, we may look at her as something other than an obliviousattention-seeking trainwreck, and that’s always a good start.OurSuggestion: Addicts, an off-Broadway one-act play about a support groupfor addicts. The minimalist setup means that Lohan’s performance won’t bedrowned out by a series of big production numbers, and the ensemble nature of the castensures that she doesn’t have to carry the load herself. Plus, if anyone can play aformer addict, it’s this girl. Continue Reading

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