How To Deal With A Cheating Spouse

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This week, Doc Love, author of "The System," tells a reader how to deal with his cheating wife.Hey Doc, A little over a month ago, I discovered that my wife, Cherry, was texting a former co-worker on a regular basis. When I confronted her, she protested that they were just friends and she was bored and he was someone to talk to. She said that if it bothered me that much, she would delete his number and no longer talk to him. For two weeks Cherry lied, told me that I was crazy and that she and this guy were just friends. One night when I was at work, I discovered that she had backed up her iPhone on my laptop. By luck -- if you want to call it that -- I was able to recover three texts from this other guy that were suspicious. Bluffing her with these texts, I was finally able to get her to admit that she had had an affair with the guy. Let me back up a bit. Cherry and I have been together since 2006. I have cheated on my wife, and she knows about it. We have two young children, but I have not cheated since we became pregnant with our first child. Now back to the present. When she admitted to cheating, I did the two things you should never do: I got drunk and asked for details. She said that it happened only one time with this other guy, and that it was a horrible experience both physically and emotionally. She said that she tried to block it out of her mind and that she only continued to talk to him because she does not have a lot of female friends and that he initiated the conversations. She said that the affair came up in conversation with him recently when he asked if they could ever do it again. She told me that she told him that she loved her husband too much to make the mistake again. I asked her if she had any feelings for him, and she said none whatsoever. Doc, I am by no means perfect, and our relationship has been rocky at times. Cherry has gone through some very difficult times within the last few years. She also admitted to me the other night that she has always felt that I had married down and that she was always insecure about what other people thought we were doing together. I have never felt this way and have always considered myself lucky to be with her. Anyway, we have begun the healing process, and I have forgiven Cherry. She has apologized again and again and has had no contact with the other guy. Our relationship is like it was when we first fell in love. So here are my questions. I love Cherry and believe that she loves me. Should I just let go of wanting to know everything that really happened between her and this other guy and move on? Is it possible she has told me the entire truth or did she have feelings for him? If she wanted to be with him, wouldn't she have just left me? Any coaching would be appreciated because I am driving myself crazy! Jed - who can’t seem to forgetDoc Love gives his advice, next... Continue Reading

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