How To Deal With Her Ex

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So, you’ve met someone who's great. You might end up in a relationship with her, butthere’s one problem: She’s best friends with her ex.There’s always the possibility of baggage when you start dating someone new. A lotof women come with bad friends, a lot of women come with a job they don't like, butthere's nothing more difficult for the male ego to deal with than a woman who comes withher ex as a best friend.For some reason or another, a lot of men can't fathomthat another man was sexually intimate with their woman. And it's funny, too, becausewomen are very aware of this. Whenever you meet a woman who is really great friends withher ex, she'll usually tell you, “Hey, Max and I are like best friends. Ourrelationship didn't work out sexually at all, but we're still such really goodfriends.”She does it because she understands the maleego and she knows that you're going to be freaking out during the course of therelationship. So, you try to play it really cool, all the while you’re thinking toyourself, “I'm not friends with any of my exes. I wish they were all floating in themiddle of the ocean. I couldn’t care less about them.”You try toplay it cool, but as the relationship progresses, you slowly stop acting so cool about it.You get into a fight, and she calls her ex to talk about it, because he just knows herreally, really well. You don’t want to get jealous, but it really bugs you when theex calls and she giggles to herself for the next five minutes because of something hesaid. It starts to eat away at you more and more.Befriend the enemy

So, what's the solution? It's easy. Befriend the enemy. I would get everybodytogether for dinner and sit face to face with the man who once put his penis inside mygirl. Look at him and treat him as you would any other guy. Get to know him a little bit.When you’re in the presence of your girl and her ex, you’ll see the dynamicbetween them and realize that there’s nothing left. There should be no sexual energyor sexual chemistry between them at all. In fact, I just look at him as a furry girlfriendof hers.That's it. He’s just another friend of hers. At the end of thenight, shake hands, befriend him on Facebook, whatever. But be cool.You’ve gotto deal with it, guys. Now, don't forget -- we’re talking about the ex she's "justfriends" with. There are the exes out there we can put an asterisk next to: the ex theystill have feelings for. Those are the ones that you’ve got to nip in the bud fromthe get-go, gentlemen.If she’s friends with the ex and you all go outtogether and you see no sexual chemistry, then you're fine. But if you go out with her andshe's always talking about the ex, then she obviously still has feelings for him.Bring It Up With Her, Not Him

And that is something that you need to deal with -- but not with him, with her.You’ve got to admit it: You picked wrong. You picked the wrong woman because youweren't listening to the warning signs right from the beginning. The problem most peopleface when dating is becoming too attached too quickly and not paying attention to thesigns. We tend to have the blinders on: “Oh, my God, she's absolutely perfect forme.” Yeah, but she talks about her ex constantly, and she's always complaining aboutthe girl that he’s dating. You’ve got to open up your eyes, guys.You need to sit her down and say, “Listen, I don't think you're over him atall.” You need to confront her and you need to listen really carefully when sheresponds. Pay attention to her bodylanguage and the words she uses. Do what you should have done in the beginning of therelationship -- pay attention. If it seems like she’s not over her pastrelationship, then your new relationship is going nowhere and you need to deal with thatlike an adult. Dealing with a woman who has an ex in her life is not rocketscience, but it takes a lot of awareness and maturity. Cultivate the virtues necessary tohandle this like a man, and you separate yourself from the boys at home in unsatisfyingrelationships who are crying about their woman and her furry friend. Continue Reading

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