A Friendly Chat Between Tebow And Peyton

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Well, that was quick. Just a few months removed from his miraculous, headline-grabbingrun, Tim Tebowis out as QB in Denver. Or at least that’s the belief in most circles following thenews that four-time MVP Peyton Manninghas decided to play out his career in the Mile High City. What this means for Tebowremains to be seen, but most experts have him landing in Jacksonville or Miami, two teamsthat have been quarterback-starved for years. If Tebow does return to Florida -- the statewhere he was born and where he became a college football legend -- he might maintain hisrelevance for at least few more years. Still, this has to be a big blow for thealways-upbeat Tebow, who gave the Broncos his all, only to have his job stolen by one ofthe best to ever do it.So how does Tebow feel about Manning today? And howdoes Manning explain his decision to Tebow? Being they’re both stand-up guys, aconversation between the two players is inevitable -- it’s just a question of whenit happens. Here’s how we imagine it’ll play out.Peyton Manning: Hey, Tim, thanks for coming to meet me. Have a seat.Would you like something to drink?Tim Tebow: What are youhaving, Mr. Manning?Manning: I ordered a bottle of CoorsLight. And, please, call me Peyton.Tebow: All right, Peyton.I’ll have a glass of milk with a straw, please.Manning:(To the waitress) Can you please bring Tim a glass of milk with a straw? Thank you,ma’am. (Turns to Tebow) Listen, Tim, I just wanted to personally apologize fordragging you into this whole mess, and I want you to know that my decision to play forDenver had nothing to do with you.Tebow: Well, I appreciatethat, Peyton. I do. But why Denver? Why not Tennessee or Arizona, teams that don’talready have a national icon throwing the football for them?Manning:With all due respect, Tim, you completed less than half your passes last year,and you were sacked more times in one season than I’ve been in three. Sure, youbecame an icon, but we both know it wasn’t because of how you throw the football.Tebow: It was because of my faith. I’m a Christian firstand a football player second.Manning: That’s anotherthing, Tim. The whole Tebowmania thing got a little out of hand. I mean, you spent moretime down on your knees than Paris Hilton. It’s no wonder John wanted a change.Tebow: But Mr. Elway promised me that I would be the startingquarterback come training camp.Manning: That was before Ibecame available. Do you really think John would pass up an opportunity to replace awalking, talking Twitter trend with a four-time league MVP and former Super Bowlchampion?Tebow: Gee, Mr. Manning, I don’t know whyyou’re being cruel about it.Manning: Listen Tim.You’re a good kid. You work hard, you’ve got loads of heart, and you’rea far more attractive man than I am. I’ll give you that. But maybe this is for thebest. You’ll probably get traded to some middling team for a couple of iPads andsome cash, and you’ll be used sporadically and in meaningless situations. After theclock eventually runs out on Tebow Time, you’ll end up in the CFL where you’llbreak every passing and rushing record known to man. Plus, I hear Edmonton is really nicein the winter.Tebow: Do you really think another team willwant me?Manning: Sure I do. I hear Jacksonville isinterested, and maybe even the Dolphins. Let’s be honest: Not even you could worsentheir QB situations.Tebow: Well, I always did want to live inSouth Beach. That’s where my good friend LeBron lives. We even talk on Twitter!Manning: Good for you, Timmy! And I’ll tell you what. Ifyou do get traded to Miami, I’ll let you stay at my condo there, free of charge!Tebow: Wow, really?Manning: Ofcourse not! But I do know a great local real estate agent!Tebow:Thanks, Mr. Manning!Manning: You’re welcome,Tim. Oh, and you owe me $2.50 for the milk. Continue Reading

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