What To Do When Her Fantasy Freaks You Out

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Her Fantasy Is The Weirdest Thing Ever

Doc,I have a doozie of a question for you. I started dating the mostincredible woman. All around perfect in every way. Or so I thought. We’ve been goingout for almost eight months and the sex, the relationship, everything has been everythingI dreamed of until now. We were reading an old article of yours that talked about sharingfantasies and openly communicating desires. Well, we took your advice and she told mesomething that really took me by surprise. She wants to dress me up in girls' clothing andhave sex with me! It’s the weirdest thing ever and I’m totally confused. Shehas told me she likes masculinity and sees me as a man, but wants me to do this as a turnon for her? I’m 99% against this, and only the 1% is because I love her.-KevinNo one said sharing fantasies is always a picnic or walk in the park.Sometimes we get the dream fantasy like a threesome withanother girl, and other times the fantasy iswell outside our comfort zone. What she is sharing with you has a name. It’s calledfeminization, and it entails a submissive male being dressed in female clothing and actinglike a woman. Depending on the person, the reasons for arousal may be different, rangingfrom humiliation, power, control or attraction to gender-bending partners, to name afew.As with all fantasies, in-depth communication is important and I’dsuggest asking her more about why she fantasizes about this and what kind of arousal itprovides for her. Contrary to what it appears, feminization doesn’t have to rob aman of his masculinity. It could be that being comfortable doing this shows how secure youare with your masculinity. It can show her you’re willing to support her desires andshe can trust you with the most secret and special of her fantasies. Of course, you shouldnever do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing. But is dressing in drag orputting on some clothes really a deal breaker? Howmany of the men out there ever put on women’s clothes for erotic or non-eroticreasons? More than you realize. In addition, your openness to supporting her may bereciprocated someday when you share an erotic desire that she may be questioning orconsidering. In the end, it’s not harming anyone and it’s all in the name ofgood sex and eroticism. If my Colombian fantasy, Sofia Vergara, or Armenian dream girl,Kim Kardashian, asked me to do this, well, someone get me a bottle of wine stat, ano-camera clause and a size 12 (I think). Protecting Someone From Getting Your STI

Hi Doc,The worst thingin the world to ever happen to me is getting herpes when I lost my virginity. Its beenhell dating. I thought I was doomed to a life without love, sex or a relationship when Imet the most amazing girl in the world. We connected, became friends, we fell for eachother and somehow I mustered up the courage to tell her -- even if it was through email, Istill told her. She accepted me! But I’m scared to give it to her. No matter what, Iwant to do everything I can to protect her. What advice can you give us/me. I’m soeager and excited to sleep with her, I’m ready to explode.-Anonymous Dear Mr. Ready to Explode: Sorry it took me afew weeks to get back to you. Lots of emails and questions. I’m sure the balls arequite blue and, for that, I apologize. I do have to give you the ultimate shout-out forrespecting your partner enough and telling her. To all the herpsters out there, take a cuefrom this gentleman. Honesty, although uncomfortable and scary, it's the most respectfulapproach, and sometimes partners accept us for who we are. For the masses that contractedHSV without being told ahead of time, don’t you wish you had been told? First off, please get as many books, articles and informationas you can get your hands on. Knowledge is an important ally for you both. The more youget comfortable with HSV, the easier it will be to communicate about it. Believe me, riskreduction requires good communication and comfort. Here are a few tips to start theeducation, but by no means should you stop here. Studies have shown anywherefrom 3-9% transmission rates if couples are safe, so lets be super safe. First, know yourtype (HSV 1 or 2) and where your HSV sores are located (mouth, genitals, both). Learnabout your triggers to outbreaks (stress, foods, drinks, etc.) and the tingles/burningsensations before outbreaks. Learn about viral shedding and how HSV transmission can behigher before/after outbreaks. Communicate about open sores or open transmissionpossibilities such as after flossing, tooth brushing, sores in the mouth, cuts/tears inthe mouth, etc. Continue Reading

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