The Not-Too-Bright Future Of Gaming

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Is 2013 going to be the year of kooky consoles? Next year, Microsoft and Sony are likely going to launch their successors to the Xbox 360 and PS3, and it’s clear that these companies are fighting a different battle than when they launched the current-gen systems. While the jury is still out on the Wii U, Nintendo is being Nintendo and trying to innovate the hell out of the tablet-controller while keeping system specs (and price) down. With Sony hurting badly, Apple set to eat a huge chunk of console cake with the Apple TV and the increasing prevalence of cloud-based gaming setups like OnLive and whatever develops from Nvidia’s GPU-in-a-cloud system, I’m a little terrified of what the design-by-desperate-committees have in store for us.It’s already becoming apparent from credible rumors that Sony and Microsoft hardware is going to be less cutting edge this time around for price reasons, so expect each company to try and differentiate itself by providing unique experiences. But, like when it comes out of the mouth of a mom who’s just seen her son’s Statue of Liberty hair, “unique” is not always a compliment.As much as I like innovative tech, I’m not a fan of gimmicks. But I won’t be surprised to see paid model families wearing MS-brand floaties while playing Awesome Wade Pool 9000 at next year’s E3 convention. Stroll over to the Sony booth that looks like a Disney theme park to play Hula Hoop Uncharted: Gut Busting Your Way to Lost Pirate Treasure. Every company will have a roster of painful celebrity endorsements that will just make us cringe as we wonder, “Why do I have to do the worm like Gary Busey to kill aliens?” I don’t know, you tell me.I feel like I’m turning into a parent and gaming is the child that I’m watching grow up to be someone I never imagined would do stuff just to spite me and my worldview. Console gaming: I’m not asking you to become a doctor. I just want you not to become a crackhead with a penchant for public masturbation. Is that too much to ask?The upside to all this nonsense? It looks like PC gaming is set to become the go-to platform for people looking to frag, without having to do the Hokey Pokey, turning all about. That’s some strange progress. Continue Reading

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