The Ridiculous Phenomenon Of The Apple Fanboy

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While the WWDC dust was settling on Tuesday, Tim Cook took a ton of heat from disgruntled Mac Pro users who didn’t get an updated machine, so he announced that they would be seeing a new one early next year. Considering this is the guy who just said he’s “doubling down on secrecy,” it must have taken some serious raging from Apple loyalists to change his stance so abruptly.But I’m not that surprised. Apple fanboys are infamous, and even the best of us can lose our resolve when faced with crowds of rabid zealots. Like a marketing team that works for free, Apple fanatics are a mystery wrapped in a phenomenon, like an IKEA version of pigs in a blanket. Scientologists are the only other people so bloody excited about their electronic gadgets and reality-distortion-field-creating gods.Don’t get me wrong -- I have more Apple equipment than the set of 30 Rock, but the fanboys I can do without. As a long-time reviewer of Mac hardware and software for Ars Technica, I’m all too familiar with fanboys on either side of the fence, but Mac ones can be particularly painful. Frequently armed with a bindle full of half-facts, the younger ones are the Rush Limbaughs of computing enthusiasts, and they spout a mixture of bile and praise along a predictably delineated line. Like any religious fanatic, they tend to occupy more headspace than they should, so they make the rest of us look like extremists. So let me clear this up: I’m just like you, but I use a Mac and I don’t have an Apple logo cut into my hair. But, while I’m on the subject, you still have to admit that sh*tty haircut still gets edged out by Zune tattoo guy for worst corporate fashion idea ever. But two wrongs don’t make a right.You’d think, now that Apple’s days of reeling in a financial rope-a-dope are over, that fewer people would feel the need to come to Apple’s defense -- but it just ain’t happening that way. Don’t tell anyone, but I’m living with a freshly knighted Apple fanatic. My girlfriend just got an iPhone after being vehemently anti-cell phone for a long time, and, within a few months, she’s turned into a rabid iPhone fanboy. She’s sold a bunch of iPhones to her friends and even got angry when someone on Facebook recently suggested that her friend get an Android phone.Dear Asky, I’m surrounded. What do I do? Continue Reading

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