How To Write The Great American Novel

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Since the dawn of civilization, when men chiseled penis jokes into the walls of theirlocal pub cave, humans wove stories great and small. Throughout the ages, the art ofstorytelling evolved, but one medium has stood the test of time and even flourished in themodern era: the novel. That is true now more than ever. The e-book revolution has givenstorytelling back to the public, and the number of authors, self-published and otherwise,is exploding.Today, if you want to be an author, you have to ask yourself onlyone question: Do you have a story to tell? Maybe you could create the next Jason Bourne,Jack Ryan or Hannibal Lecter. Here are some tips to help you avoid the pitfalls manyfirst-time novelists encounter.1. Know your genre

Before you put that first word on the page, you’ve got to know what genreyou’re writing. Can you imagine how irritated you’d be if you thought you weregoing to see TheDark Knight Rises, but instead the movie involved ChristianBale marrying Reese Witherspoon in a zany romantic comedy? Oh, with lots of gigglingtoo. You wouldn’t be pleased, and your reader won’t be either if youdon’t know your genre. Besides, it’s the only way you can determine how longyour book should be and whether or not you need to kill someone in the first chapter.Will you write a thriller or maybe a mystery in the vein of Stieg Larsson? Lovestories are fine, too. Nicholas Sparks is still collecting royalties from TheNotebook. Any genre is fine, but you have to pick your poison. That way, your readerwill know what to expect. Until you know your genre, you won’t know enough to writeyour book.2. Do not -- we repeat, do not -- make yourself the protagonist

There’s no kind way to tell you this. You are not interesting enough to be the starof your own novel. Nobody is. Well, maybe CharlieSheen could write his own story, involving a weekend binge of porn stars that wouldmake Hunter S. Thompson cringe, but most of us don’t live in that world. We havechildren and mortgages. Girlfriends. Nose hair.Your protagonist should belarger than life. He should say and do the things to his boss that you wish you hadthought of. Trust us, he won’t be allowed to do that if you lock him into the prisonof your own life. This is not to say that you shouldn’t write what you know, butstretch your brain. Maybe you’re a mechanic. Fine. What if your protagonist racesstock cars? Fantastic. This can add author integrity, but he shouldn’t have twochildren like you. His brother shouldn’t be an alcoholic if yours is. His girlfriendshouldn’t nag him as yours might. Don’t pull too much from your own life.Allow your characters to breathe on their own, and they’ll reward you with killerstories that sell books.3. Avoid speaking or even thinking this dumbest author quote: “I don’tread fiction. I don’t want to ruin my voice.”

Stephen King put it this way: “If you don’t have the time to read, youdon’t have the time (or the tools) to write.” Imagine if your heart surgeonconfided in you as you’re being wheeled into surgery, “I don’t put muchfaith in other doctors’ techniques or their research. You see, I have my ownstyle.”See how stupid that sounds? Don’t be that guy. Nobody is bornknowing how to write, and the single best way to learn is to read.Anothersimilar argument that rookie authors sometimes make is that they don’t read becausethey like to watch movies instead. Though the silver screen may help you hone dialogue,Hollywood is a poor substitute for learning how to make words dance on the page. We cannotstress this enough. Novels are not movies, nor should they be. If you want to write akiller novel, read a book, read nonfiction and then read a short story. Rinse andrepeat.4. Do not listen to your girlfriend or wife too much.

Most men love to have their egos stroked. You need to check yours at the door in order togrow as an artist. Though your girlfriend may think you’re brilliant, you have totake her praise with a fat chunk of salt. She loves you. She also loves your neck pimple.On the flip side, she may be threatened in some way if you succeed. Loved ones behave instrange ways when authors step to the written word. You shouldn’t ignore themcompletely, but be wary of their praise and their criticism.5. When the going gets tough, keep on writing.

The only guaranteed way to fail is to quit. If your parents didn’t teach you that,they should’ve. Writing is a skill, and like every skill, you get better withpractice. Sure, writing can be tough at times, especially before you hit the first hundredpages, but finishing your own novel is the single greatest dragon you can slay. Think ofit as riding a bicycle up a mountain. Once you get to the top, it will be easier pedalingdown. Have a great ride.Novelists Christopher Allan Poe and Bonnie HearnHill are the authors of Digital Ink: Writing Killer Fiction in the E-Book Age.You can reach them at www.digitalinkbooks.com. Continue Reading

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