Can A Rebound Become A Long-Term Thing?

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Hey Doc,I’ve been dating Jazmine for four years. We always had a fewrough spots, including partial breakups,but overall it’s been good. At the two-year mark Jazmine broke up with me, arguingthat I’m not driven in life and that she was very turned off by that. I workpart-time at a grocery store and I’m in a band that’s trying to make it in themusic industry. So she ended up dating a friend of her brother. He was obviously a reboundand I knew this, and she ended up coming back to me after two weeks.Itwasn’t the same after we got back together, though. The romance in our relationshipdied and the number of arguments increased. Jazmine constantly wanted to break it off withme. She said she felt guilty over what she did to her rebound guy. But we went on datingfor another two years until she had a mental breakdown and split from me.Twomonths later, she was seeing the same rebound guy. They dated for a month until Icontacted her and we met for a talk. I told her that I got my life on track. I split fromthe band and started taking some business courses. Jazmine decided to break it off withthe rebound guy and come back to me. She told me that I was the love of her life.It’s been eight months since then. We moved in together, but the romantic part ofour relationship is still largely dead. Jazmine constantly tells me that she loves me,though, which is confusing. Most recently she informed me that she’s been talking tothe rebound guy again but that it’s nothing to worry about. I’m not sure howto deal with it, so I said I was fine with it. I also decided to take a break from myeducation and get back together with my band. Jazmine said she was cool with it as long asI eventually go back to school.I should also mention that Jazmine lost weight,quit smoking and limited her drinking when she was seeing the rebound guy. Shedoesn’t do any of that stuff when she’s with me. She’s smoking again,drinking more often now and her weight is slowly coming back.That said, do youthink Jazmine still has feelings for the rebound guy? I love this girl and I don’twant to lose her, but things between us seem so manufactured. It’s almost likeshe’s forcing herself to have a relationship with me.Yukio - whoneeds to rockHi Yukio,You don’t mention thatyou’ve read "The System," and it’s obviousto me that you haven’t. But if you had, you would know that rough spots and partialbreakups mean that the end is coming. To you psych majors, if she’s completely andtotally in love with you, she’s not breaking up with you every other day and runningoff with someone else. Continue Reading

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