The 10 Stages Of The Shameful Pickup

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It's finally Saturday night, and you're ready to PARTAAAAAAAAAAY.




You can hardly contain your excitement.



You aresooooooooooo burnt out from your week.



You are ready to blow off some SERIOUSsteam.

1. You meet your friends at the bar and you're ready to GO.

2. You're feeling pretty cool, scoping out the ladies

3. You're warming yourself up 'cause you are so ready to get itdone



4. You think,"Oh my god, I'm sooooooooooo in." Until you'reso not.





5. And suddenly it's 2:30 a.m., and you need to get in the ZONE.



6. And still your options are looking bleak, so you take it up anotch.



6. Until suddenly you realize you're... all alone. Where the f*ck did everyone go?



7. But then you're like, "Whatever, she looks good enough." And, HELL NO, you'renot going home alone.


8. ANNNNNNNNNNNNND you're back in the game!




8. You've Got This! You're bringing herhome.




9. You. Are. The. Boss.




10. Until your beer goggles start to clear and you're like,WHAAAAAAAAAT?!

11. But then you're like YIPPIEEEEEEEEEE, 'cause who cares,really?

12. And then you wake up at her house the next morning and you're like, "Sh*t. Igotta get out of here."





12. But then you realize you were the last one to leave the bar,so you're totally cool.



13. Until you realize you got the clap.

14. And you're freaking out a little bit.


15. And feel real sorry for yourself.


15. Until you see a doctor and you realize you'll be OK as long as you takeantibiotics.


16. Justdon't tell your friend Barry because he'll think you're an idiot.


17. And make you promise to never do this again.



18. Until next Saturday.

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