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Do You Have A Porn Addiction Problem?
Dear Doc Chaves,I think I have a problem with internet porn addiction. I have looked at a number of sexual sites and have even masturbated to pictures and movies online. I feel like its not normal and I’m doing something wrong and hurtful. How many other guys do this, and should I see a doctor for this?-Mike While it’s tough to nail exactly what guys are looking at on sex sites, we do know they’re looking. About 95% of males masturbate, and men make up two-thirds of the internet sex site users. It’s fair to say the overwhelming majority of male internet sex site users are masturbating. It’s hard to imagine a guy on a sex site not touching himself, right? Why else is a guy there? In addition, where are the women who make up the one-third of Internet sex site users? Can you imagine dating a woman and saying, “Honey, I forgot my username and password to lovetohump.com. Can I borrow yours?” It’s quite normative for adults to look at porn sites on the internet. Tens of millions do it in the U.S. You may not like it or enjoy it, but others do, and the right to freedom and liberty even includes sexually explicit material. Most can handle internet porn just fine. It can be a wonderful stress reliever, libido enhancer, nighttime sleep aid, and masturbatory outlet. In fairness, some people, mostly men, have a difficult time controlling their use, and those people may benefit from seeing a trained sex-positive therapist. People with compulsive internet masturbation or out-of-control sexual behavior can benefit from treatment. The younger generations have even more exposure to internet sex sites, and we’re finding the rates of compulsive use increasing in society. It’s easy to blame the internet, but do we blame liquor stores on every corner for selling alcohol, or blame cars for auto-accident-related injuries? We have to take responsibility for our actions. I believe, in part, we as a society are not taught how to handle sexually explicit material and are made to feel guilty about a normative desire to explore sexual depictions. Many who fear they are sex addicts often use sexual expression as coping mechanism for other difficulties, like depression, anxiety, lack of relationship fulfillment, poor boundaries, or other stressors. You can benefit from seeing a professional (www.aasect.org), but it sounds to me as if guilt and shame over expressing your sexual desire may be more likely than a compulsive issue. Either way, getting help can likely relieve some of this anxiety and stress.Doc Chaves advises a reader whose girlfriend has a fantasy he's uncomfortable with, next... Continue Reading
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