I fucked up with my girlfriend

WOW!!!

I fucked up big time with her...I feel like a piece of shit!

I partnered up with a supplement company, it took me 6 months of research, and lots of thinking about it took. I made the decision 2 months ago.
It is an at home business basically, for those who are familiar with MLM

Anyhow, the objective is to move the product, which can be used by both athletes and or regular people--not gym goers.

Because I am traing to build my team, my plan is to have strong people work with me.
One of my ex is a dentist adminstrator, she has contact and access to TONS of chicks who would be perfect for the product.
I also dated a doctor a couple of years ago, and she and I say hello from time to time.

Well I sent BOTH women emails in relevance to the product. I did this Wed noonish.
My girlfriend is very insecure, so I always follow proper steps in order to make her feel comfortable. She had a guy fuck around on her in the past. So she has insecurities.
I own a restaurant as many of you know, I love being a chef. So getting in business with a product that may retire me in some years, really called my attention.

My girlfriend went through my emails that day after I left for work. Of course in my sent files she found both emails to the girls.
Last night the shit hit the fan LARGE!!!!!!

We got into a real heavy argument....I betrayed her trust. I contacted my past.
What works with me in this situation, is that BOTH emails are very direct, and product oriented. No chit chat, no personal level words at all.

I have nothing to hide.

We are both a mess right now.
I booked everything off today, I do not care. I am home all day, she went to work, she owns a business too, but can not take the day off.

I am fucking toren apart.

I thank God I have prop laying around. I will poke myself a couple of times.

clean the house, eat, and veg.

What a mess!!!!



B2J

My girl is the same way bro, but you just have to lay it down and tell her what she saw is what it is: A business opportunity, and that is it. Nothing more and nothing less.

I understand you're upset with her and that she has insecurities from her past, but it is NOT FAIR for her to JUDGE YOU and compare you to her exes like that. Your relationship and how you conduct it is not my business, but if you do want an honest open opinion from a guy who is/has been in your shoes I'd be more than happy to offer advice. Some find it offensive and some find it very helpful hence why I am biting my tongue at this moment.

If you wanna talk about it in private or just open forum let me know. Or if you want me to shut the fuck up just tell me ;) lol

I just re read this thread and noticed both of these women are your exes (sorry, I just woke up and the melatonin is wearing off!) so I can see why she may be upset. Exes are exes for a reason. However--she needs to respect your privacy. If all you said was honestly business oriented and that is it, she shouldn't be too crazy upset. She should be thankful that you were honest, upfront, and the emails were honorable.

I would talk to her about it with something along the lines of, "I understand why you're upset, because of your past relationships. However those emails were strictly business oriented was all. You're the one that I'm with, and the one that I want to be with. However I feel slightly disrespected that you didn't come to me and ask me personally about what was going on. I feel you don't respect my privacy" something along the lines of that.

Thank you for the reply.

Being that she is insecure, and I respect that, I always go through the steps of ensuring that she feels ok:

-I tell her where i am going, why how long
-she has access to my email account, facebook....I no problems with that
-we alwyas keep in touch by text

We have a very good, solid relationship.

I FULLY understand those ghost hidden behind the closet doors, we all have them.

She read the emails herself, at like I said, my only small defence is that the emails are 100% product oriented and NOT personal at all.
The fact that they are x's is wrong of me to have done that. I should not contact ex girlfriends to network the product, but those two girls can turn out to be very lucrative for me. --which will benefit all of course.

As of now, we are talking...I got so drunk last night, I HATE drinking. I am not a drinker.
We are talking, but I can see in her little French eyes that she is hurting so much.

She yelled at me for a long while last night...I took it all in. I deserved it.

But like I told her, I did not send friendly emails at all, and no I do not want to go and fuck them at all. I just want to pimp them out hahahahahhahahaha


b2J

...anyhow I just pumped in 400mls of prop. this should help :D :D :D


B2J

N2J,
I must say you have done nothing wrong. I come from a long term married relationship. If I have learned anything it is respect and trust must go both ways. She is not showing you either. Her issues our hers from her past. Shit like this would drive me straight to another women. Maybe that is what happen with the other dudes? You are not the ex that cheated or whatever. You are bending over backwards to show her you are hiding nothing from her. Even this new business is ALL business. She is being very childish. She has turned something that is ALL her baggie around and made it your fault. FOR doing NOTHING. Dude, at some point this has to be addressed if not you are going to live a life of her distrust. So, if you look at a chic and say "nice" is she going to bite your head off or would she say "yeah, she is beautiful". A mature women would see the pretty lady not a threat.
OK, all of the above was IMO. Do what is right for you.
Good Luck,
G

Quote:

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Originally Posted by gotclen

N2J,
I must say you have done nothing wrong. I come from a long term married relationship. If I have learned anything it is respect and trust must go both ways. She is not showing you either. Her issues our hers from her past. Shit like this would drive me straight to another women. Maybe that is what happen with the other dudes? You are not the ex that cheated or whatever. You are bending over backwards to show her you are hiding nothing from her. Even this new business is ALL business. She is being very childish. She has turned something that is ALL her baggie around and made it your fault. FOR doing NOTHING. Dude, at some point this has to be addressed if not you are going to live a life of her distrust. So, if you look at a chic and say "nice" is she going to bite your head off or would she say "yeah, she is beautiful". A mature women would see the pretty lady not a threat.
OK, all of the above was IMO. Do what is right for you.
Good Luck,
G

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I completely agree with you here. You shouldnt let this get to you. If she really is a good chick, she will realise how stupid she is being and apologize for it. My girl acts like this from time to time for the same reasons. I just explain to her how it is and how its going to be and she eventually sees it that way also. I can understand that it might bother her at first, but to really get crazy upset about complete business talk is just a joke.

I appreciate each and every one of your posts, they are valuable to me.

Gotclen certainly made me see a little bit of a different point also, RE: her old baggage bring brought into our relationship, and how that affected us.
The truth is< we all have a little extra we keep from our past love affairs, what makes the difference is the delivery method really.

She and I had a good heart to heart talk last night.
I hate spending time cleaning up messes, I hate it. But we spent a good part of the night doing the talk thing, and we are now back on track.

My girl can go through my personal email any time, as I have nothing to hide.
I used to be a BB4L Bad Boy 4 Life. I have a sticker of the letters on the back window of my sports car in big italics letter hahahhaahhah I should remove those letters...as I am not who I used to be. Life has matured me over the last years. I used to cheat left and right. I used to love the chase, the conquer, but I am not in that mind frame any longer.

Thank you once again!


B2J

good stuff bro. my lady is the same way. she'll throw a fit, but at the end of the conversation when she see's that i did nothing out of line she's the one to say sorry.. well at least let it go lol

damn b2j sorry to hear all of that. knowing you, you will have it all worked out before the weekend is over. good luck my man

i had to change my passwords to 2 of my accounts cause my girl found a sent e-mail to my ex-wife ,a woman i was with since 198-friggin-4! all i said was when will she give me the divorce papers and that i couldn't do it mentally or physically.it was her wanting to split up,cheat and go her way so i told her "if he can fuck ya then he can pay for the lawyer unless you're givin that ass up to me." she went ape shit thinking i was doin my ex when i haven't seen or talked to her since around 04ish.but i find some dudes name,cell and home number in a place where it wasn't 3 months prior to me finding it and she just denied it,snatched the paper from me and flushed it.so who's really the messed up one?yet she'll just deny it to the death.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by rocco-x

i had to change my passwords to 2 of my accounts cause my girl found a sent e-mail to my ex-wife ,a woman i was with since 198-friggin-4! all i said was when will she give me the divorce papers and that i couldn't do it mentally or physically.it was her wanting to split up,cheat and go her way so i told her "if he can fuck ya then he can pay for the lawyer unless you're givin that ass up to me." she went ape shit thinking i was doin my ex when i haven't seen or talked to her since around 04ish.but i find some dudes name,cell and home number in a place where it wasn't 3 months prior to me finding it and she just denied it,snatched the paper from me and flushed it.so who's really the messed up one?yet she'll just deny it to the death.

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In my experience with women who are scandilous, they take everything to the grave (unless caught red handed, then they will blame it on the guy). Also every women who has ever been jealous in a relationship with me were not loyal or to be trusted. In my opinion OP you did nothing wrong and I can't imagine why she would be so distrought over it! I can see though that you are trying to reassure her regardless and that should tell her you care!

I'm not married, but I can add a view from the other side. TRUST has to be the foundation of a stable relationship IMO, it has to come from both sides. I can understand insecurities alot of people, both men and women have them, as well as self driven jealousy, which most of the time is from being insecure. If she's having doubts, about your sincerity and devotion to and in the relationship you 2 have, then you both need to work on making each other feel more secure. She need to feel like you are 110&#37; committed to her, as does she to you. It goes both ways, as it should. Maybe the way you are going out of your way to reassure her that you are committed is whats making her suspect something is going on.
But she is going to have to understand as well that in business sometimes we have to deal with the opposite sex, and she's going to have to get comfortable with it, or its going to continue to lead to issues of mistrust. Jealousy is a nasty demon in a relationship, which can make or break things. She's going to have to realize you aren't the one who deceived her, and move forward if she wants things to progress, other wise you will be fighting this same battle continually.


Stay Strong~~!!!
IPL

I read this and I shook my head. Fucking women. I went through the same shit. No worth it. You got business to take care of, and her insecurities can NOT get in the way of your life. You shouldn't have to explain everything your doing, nor justify it! WHY DOES SHE HAVE YOUR E-MAIL PASSWORD?!?! Please don't say, "so she can fully trust me." There is something called privacy and no matter who you care, we are all entitled to it. That is her way of controlling you. Is she worth the trouble? What i hate the most about all this is how her past relationship is haunting you! Because some other guy fucked up, you're paying for his mistakes.

WTF? Are ya'll fuckin serious? I'll tell any bitch including my Babies Mom who I've been with for over 6 yrs to fuck off- flat if she starts playing: "You have to cater to my insecurities and be responsible for my feelings" bullshit. And LET that bitch go through my phone- I'll start texting exes and hoochies and even my friends actin like hoochies just to piss her off then tell her she got what she looked for and that I'm gonna do whatever I do and either trust me or dont. I'll never enable her bullshit by taking responsibility for her feelings or insecurities. FUCK THAT! Every once in a while she'll find a pic of a vagina on my phone or computer because I'm a perv and like pics of vaginas and she knows this and she knows that for me knowing I can have it is just as good for me as having it. BUT, she also knows my time is spent at work(the lab) with my kids and at home. Every once in a while I'll go to the titty bar where i used to manage and know everyone and feel comfy with a buddy or alone. i dont fuck with the girls other than talk shit and i dont buy dances. I also take her sometimes bc she likes chicks. But i dont cheat on her. if she dont trust me- she can leave. And before I answer to her she will leave bc I own me and she better be a woman and own herself too. otherwise deals' off.
I do love her and trust her. I mean if she ask me where I've been or what i've been up to- I tell her. Sometimes (once a month) I might say- I been at the titty bar and got 3 pics of vaginas- you wanna see them? LMAO! hey fuck her she fucks her friend Wendy. I dont give a shit- as long as she takes a pic for me!
But all kidding aside- I dont deal (very long) with insecure chicks or take responsibilities for a chicks' feelings- hell, it's hard enough to be responsible for my own lil few feelings must less a womans complicated ones!