Social Habits

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"It's A Man's World" is a column on anything and everything related to the modern man,by Ian Lang. If there are any topics you'd like to see addressed here, sendthem to us at editorial@askmen.com or let us know what youthink in the comments section.This past weekend, myfiancee and I were enjoying (well, kind of enjoying) a meal at a DC eatery. As I am wontto do, I stepped outside to have a cigarette. About halfway in, a couple of ladies camestrolling down the sidewalk. As they passed by, one woman got this look on her face asthough she'd just stepped in dog sh*t, and the other one did a little phony"cough-cough."Are you kidding me?Look: Being a smoker, I amintimately acquainted with the various unpleasantries associated with it. Yes, Iunderstand that it smells bad. I completely understand that you don't want it blown inyour face, which is why I endeavor not to. I take great care to be courteous tonon-smokers around me, be it by walking behind a group or making sure not to light up whenI'm upwind of others. I make a point to not smoke near or in front of children. I chewgum. I wash my hands after every smoke. I put a jacketon so that my clothes don't smell too strongly. RELATEDVIDEO: The Basics Of Smelling GoodGiven that, I don't think it's too much to ask that non-smokers do me a solid and atleast silently tolerate my habit. We're outside, so shut up. It's not making you sick. Theodd errant puff is not going to make your clothes smell. Yes, it's unpleasant. Lots ofthings outside are unpleasant. Get over it. As long as it's legal, it's something you'llhave to deal with. The least you could do is not look like you're constipated because youhave to endure two seconds of a smell you dislike.It's almost enough to makeme want to quit (but I haven't -- at least not yet). And the more I think about it,smokers aren't alone. The same smugness and sanctimony that smokers deal with ("You knowthat's bad for you, right?" Yes, so is getting hit by a bus, assh*le.) can come fromanyone around us who happens not to do whatever thing it is we're doing (or vice versa).Maybe your brother pesters you about eating organic and/ormore sustainable food. Maybe you have a coworker who nags you about biting your nails. Ithink everyone knows someone who's just a little too into politics. Whoever you are andwhatever it is, the fact that you do and do not do certain things does not sit well withsome people.I've found that with most vices in life, the loudest mouthpiecescome in two forms: the rehabilitated ex-user and the teetotaler. To a smoker, the onlything more irritating than an angry non-smoker is a vocal former smoker. On the one hand,they're the most qualified to admonish you because they've been where you are and managedto overcome their demons (and neurons) to kick the habit. On the other hand, ex-smokerscan be tough to listen to because they're being pretty high-minded since they were onceexactly where you are now, and probably hating the judgment from others just as much.As I said, this is not unique to smokers. Imagine one day you're really cravingMcDonald's for lunch but say to yourself, "Ew, I would never put that in my body."Congratulations -- you fall into assh*le category number two, the teetotaler. Continue Reading

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