Why Keyboard Pants Are The Worst Idea Ever

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Sometimes a product comes along thatreally just blows your head clean off your shoulders. A product that can only happen wheninventors throw caution to the wind and put every cell of their obviously crazy brainsbehind an idea that’s so uniquely terrible that it crosses through to the other side and into genius.Today I bring you said product, and you shall know it byits very real name of keyboardpants. In case you can’t tell from the photo or from the name, we are talkingabout a pair of pants that have a working flexible Bluetooth keyboard inthe crotch of a pair of jeans. Try and finish reading this piece before rushing out tobuy a month’s worth for you and everyone you know. We love the official press picture for keyboard pantsbecause it shows the manufacturer knows who their market is: people too busy -- nay,daring -- to separate work and pleasure (plus, it looks like it went to great lengths tofind someone who looks like he’s auditioning for the sequel to TheSocial Network). Great minds who couldn’t give a shit about impressinggirls wear keyboard pants! Honestly, if I didn’t know they were real, I’dthink these were props from a Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!skit. Which leads me to campaign ideas...“Whenlife gives you lemons, make keyboard pants.”“Fourwrods pr mnutei, but fscking waseome.” “When she reaches for that space between 'g' and 'h,' you know it’sparty time.” And the hushed disclaimer part atthe end of the TV commercial: “Try not to pissyourself or die an awkward death.” Obviously,questions about hygiene and washability take a back seat to the sheer power ofwearing a keyboard on your pants. And, hey, these at least giveyou an excuse to rub your wang in the workplace. Continue Reading

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