Mafia Myths

Every profession is plagued by stereotypes and myths. Not every doctor is saving lives like some House finale, not every detective is busting balls and cracking heads, and not every blue-collar man's crack is showing. But as much as a reputation can precede other professionals, it’s nothing compared to Mafia myths.

With every Scorsese flick and Mafia video game pumping through pop culture, the paisans of my industry have to answer all the questions. Is it really like that? How many guys have you killed? Do you know Robert De Niro? Just because you paid your $10 at the multiplex, and you sat through the latest crime drama, doesn’t make you an expert. Because it helps to know the true history, structure and working of The Family, I’ve decided to clean up a couple Mafia myths. Enjoy.

NYC was the birthplace of the American Mafia
For most of the general public, and even the paisans who grew up in the tenements of New York’s LES, to imagine the birth of the American Mafia happening anywhere outside NYC is impossible. But all men of honor know that credit should be paid where credit is due. Although La Cosa Nostra came to life in the Big Apple (that’s not a Mafia myth, some things just aren’t), some of the first Mafioso activity actually happened in New Orleans. I’m not saying we cornered the whole crawfish industry, but when the police superintendent suddenly went missing from the force, everyone knew it was the birth of a whole new world.

The Mafia never deals with the Feds
I’m not saying I invite these guys over for Sunday gravy once a week (God knows half these cafones aren’t fit to raid a house, let alone dine in one). But the age-old Mafia myth that it’s always the Feds versus the Mafia fails to highlight some pretty important collaborations. During WWII, the gov didn’t use its own soldiers to protect its ports from raiding foreign enemies, it used Lucky Luciano’s. And when Castro was running the show, threatening to turn our country red, who did the government turn to? The very paisans that used to run the show in Cuba -- the Mafia. And though not all these collaborations went as planned, the two sides worked quite well in the boardroom together.

Snitches are part of the game
From the movies, the books and the video games, the public believes the Mafia myth that it’s only a matter of time before everybody flips. And even though guys in the game these days check everyone for a wire, the whole concept of “snitching” is a fairly new phenomenon. We’re an old business, dating back to the 1800s, protecting the streets in the warm Sicilian air. No one would ever dream of turning state’s evidence -- we took a freaking oath. For many of the old-timers, it was never an option. But when Joe Valachi sang like a canary in ’63, a new trend started, and witness protection had a whole list of new residents to relocate. Valachi turned the whole industry upside down. Before him, you couldn’t get a wise guy to tell you what he had for breakfast. If the bosses from the old country could see these guys on the stand now, marone.

It’s an age-old structure
Most guys got it right -- there is a pyramid and hierarchy in place that stems back from those early days in Palermo. But the original families who implemented that structure would see some serious changes if they came back today. As much as the mob likes to pride itself on titles and history, the organization was forced to adapt over the years. With new technology, surveillance and guys trying to run their families from afar, job positions had to be created. Street bosses are one. When the Feds come to your house and put you in a holding area with no cell phone, no pay phone and no smoke signals, all decisions have to be made by your street guy. Family messenger, whose title says it all, is another; he’s some stunad who runs information to the rest of the family. It beats making outgoing calls on a wire-tapped phone. Long live the Patriot Act, marone.

tearing down the rumor mill
There are countless Mafia myths surrounding us, and though I can’t spend the time dispelling all of them, it’s worth noting you shouldn’t believe everything you hear. When a guy gets wind of what it is I do for a living, he’ll try to start with the lingo and the stories. “I know Johnny Wings.” “I shot dice with Tommy Grant.” And when these guys start talking about the game, they tend to get it all wrong. There are more untruths surrounding La Cosa Nostra than any other profession in the world. I just hope I got to clear some of them up for you.

Never mind I dont want to be sleeping with the fishes...Capisce lol you had to know that was coming

i like the old saying out of sight out of mind. which how all good shady businessman operate.

You mean the mafia still exists today... who would have known

=X

and how are we to be sure that this isn't a bunch of rumors and lies itself?

No matter now, NYC is done and over.

Right now it's a big wet pussy, waiting to get fucked.

Someones gonna make their move.........

May just be me ;)

someone has to call the shots and make the move. x you are a more than welcome to crack that nut. i saw a gangland where the mod tried to make one of the biker gangs(if i am not mistaken) pay a tax on their drug trade. they got their asses handed to them or so at least according to the bikers. no tax was paid either

o yeah it is damn hard to enforce with terror in a world of terror nowadays.