Avatar Sex

Dear Doc Chaves,I have a fantasy that really turns me on. It’ssomething I masturbate to but don’t feel comfortable telling anyone, not even mywife. I absolutely love and get turned on by imagining the movie Avatar. Idon’t know what it is, but the female blue characters really excite me to the pointthat I’m getting a hard-on writing this. Is this common? -Mark,FLEveryone has fantasies. There’s not a person on Earth who hasn’tfantasized about something sexual, whether it’s the Na’vi people of Pandora orthe next-door neighbor. There’s no way to accurately say how many people share thisunique sexfantasy, but here are a couple of facts that make me think you’re not alone:It’s the highest-grossing film of all time, Avatar costumes were oneof the most popular costumes of 2010, Hustler made a high-end porno parodythat same year, and there are tons of porn clips made in honor of the movie. I’msure you noticed this in the movie, but the female Na’vi characters are all slender,attractive, athletic, scantily dressed, and provocative, which adds to the eroticism. Iunderstand it’s difficult to tell people about unique fantasies, and your comfort isfirst and foremost. But consider the pros and cons of sharing this Avatar sex fantasy withyour partner. If she’s open-minded, maybe she would enjoy or support this aspect ofyour sexuality and what a treat that would be. Now that I think about it,there’s a history of attractive blue characters. You already identified ZoeSaldana’s character in Avatar, but I’m taking it to another leveland saying RebeccaRomijn as Mystique in the X-Men. Smurfette could be classified as a bluebombshell, too. I’m glad to read you’ve found something that excites you andyou’re embracing it as an outlet for pleasure and fantasy. Life’s too shortnot to enjoy it.Prison Sex And Sexuality

Hi Doc,I just spent three years in jail and recently got out. I’m in aweird place right now, because the whole experience has made me question who I am. Therewere a few times while being locked up that I had sex with another inmate. I keep thinkingback to it, and it’s ruining my ability to want to be with women. My brother jokesaround that I dropped the soap and makes other comments and it’s getting to me. Iguess I’m questioning if I have some gayin me. -AnonymousNo matter what brothers say, or anyone elsefor that matter, no one gets to tag an orientation label on you. It's your right to defineyour orientation and also your job to explore it. There could be a few different reasonswhy your past incarcerated sexual experiences may be impacting your ability to be withwomen. It’s possible there might be some orientation exploration for you to do.There may be some anxiety, guilt or shame you’re feeling related to having sex withother men or possibly liking the sex you had in jail. It may also be difficult toreintegrate back into the dating scene and society, which can cause distress. Iwouldn’t be surprised if some mental health difficulties are present due to therecent changes in your life. It’s likely these possibilities may beimpacting your abilities with women. Keep in mind it’s perfectly normative toquestion our sexual interests, expression and orientation; our sexuality is alwayschanging, evolving and growing. Don’t hesitate to find a qualified sex therapist (AASECT.org) and talk things out with aprofessional. Whether you choose to identify as gay, straight or some other orientation,remember that the road to happiness often travels through some confusion andquestioning. How often do single men in their 30s have sex? That'snext... Continue Reading

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