We’ve known for some time nowthat “terrorists” always tweet their plans in plain English, so it shouldcome to no one’s surprise that two UK tourists were detained in L.A. and deportedfor a tweet that read, “@MelissaxWalton free this week for a quick gossip/prepbefore I go and destroy America?” Thanks to the hard work of theirony-immune Department of Homeland Security, the "terrorists" were placed on a one-daylookout list, where they no doubt shared virtual space with other people who tweet theirnefarious intentions. Although, given the MPAA’s firm grip on congress, it’spossible that they were stopped from entering the country over their other tweet about digging up MarilynMonroe’s remains. Chris Dodd could not be reached for comment.In response to the allegations, the terrorist’s friendresponded “He would not hurt anyone. He is gay.” Although we applaud AlQaeda’s new, less homophobic direction, rest assured the U.S. government is not soeasily fooled.Jokes aside, is this a joke? It seems thatAmericans have it bad enough now that warrantless wiretapping and the Patriot Act havebecome a daily reality, but people now have to tread so lightly, they can’t evenmake an obvious joke in plain public view. People were aghast at China’s recent zero-tolerance lockdown of the term “protest” on social networks, but this isthe land of the free. At least, we thought it was. Continue Reading

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