Is Paying For Sex Wrong?

Dear Doc Chaves,Is there anything wrong with beingwith a prostitute? What risks are there if I see one?- Anonymous I’m flushing the concept of right/wrong down thetoilet again and just talking to you. And let’s use the term "sex worker" -- it hasa less judgmental ring to it. This answer for you depends on many factors: personalattitudes, social judgments, religious/spiritual views, your culture, what time periodwe’re talking about and a host of other variables that will surely be commented onbelow in the comment section. In many cultures throughout history, money or other formsof currency have been exchanged for services that include sexual activity, sometimes as aform of spiritual worship or prayer. Historically, some religious institutionsprofited from sex. Sex work is legal in a few areas in the U.S. have and many parts of the world. Change area codes or hop on a plane and the socially constructed views arealtered. In short, it really comes down to what you think and what’s right for you.That being said, I’m not encouraging you to break the law. What are the risks? Truthfully, besides the risk of beingarrested and charged where it’s not legal, the risks are quite similar those youwould take on with a non-sex-work partner. Any partner can break your heart, take yourmoney, pass alongan STI, leave you, have a jealous ex, and so on.It’s not fair to attribute these risks to sex workers if they are risks we take inevery partnered relationship. George Carlin said it best: "I do not understand whyprostitution is illegal. Why should prostitution be illegal? Selling is legal; f**king islegal. Why isn’t selling f**king legal? Why should it be illegal to sell somethingthat’s perfectly legal to give away? I can’t follow the logic on that atall.” It’s kind of a brilliant statement. And for those of you who can smell a hint of sex work support, you’ve unmasked me. There will be some who bring up sex slavery, child sex trafficking, peoplein dire need of money and other dark sides to sexual activity, but that’s not truesex work. That’s abuse and coercion, and very different from what I'm talkingabout. True sex work involves freedom and choice. True sex work is a business decisionmade by consenting adults. Oh, and tip your sex worker! You give tips to people who serveyou a drink or drop off some food, so how about those who provide a more intimate andmemorable service? Are There People Who Get Turned On By Blood?

Is there really such a thingas people who get off on blood? Sounds gross to me. True?- Kevin People get off on anything that can be imagined. I meananything. For example, a bouquet of flowers. Most would find this a pleasant gift.However, a person with antholagnia (erotic arousal from smelling flowers) would probablyget off on those flowers. Blood, although on a different end of the comfort spectrum fromsweet-smelling flowers, can also be eroticized. Blood play, or hematolagniato the lovers of paraphilicterminology, is an extreme sexual desire that produces excitement, arousal, evenorgasm for some. There is no definite reason as to why people enjoy this, but we do knowthat it exists and that it is real. More recently, the social fascination with vampirism (yes, I’m bringing you into this,Twilight movies) has helped the popularity of blood play surge, especially amongthe younger demographics. What arouses each person is different and often associated withvery specific acts or scenes. Some enjoy the sight of the blood, others the touch orsmell, and the activity using the blood can also be connected to how arousing the play is for someone. It’s not common for people to ingest fluids, but it happens andsome do enjoy this behavior. Most involved in the blood play scene are well versed in thedangers of fluid transmission and utilize safety precautions such as STI testing,sterilized play items, gloves, aprons and protective barrier gear. Some will include fakeblood in their play to encourage safety and still get the rush they seek. Having seen a number of blood play scenes in my day, I can tell you that while it’s not my cup of tea, it gets a lot of people excited and energized because ofits taboo nature and extremity. While some reading this may be judgmental, don’tforget that if consensual adults are participating in a non-illegal act in their ownprivate lives and it’s not harming anyone, there’s nothing wrong about it --it's just different and unique.Doc Chaves answers more of yourquestions, next... Continue Reading

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