Tebow And Sanchez Walk Into A Bar...
Tweet
It’s hard to believe that New Orleans Saints coach Sean Payton’s one-year suspension was only the second biggest football story that broke yesterday, but such is the cult of Tim Tebow. The collective sounds of jaws dropping could be heard from the East River all the way to the Rockies, when news broke that the NFL’s most popular player was headed to the Big Apple after being traded by the Denver Broncos for a fourth and sixth round draft pick. And, no, Tebow won’t be backing up Eli Manning for the Giants. Tim Tebow is going to the Jets. That’s right. The Jets. The trash-talking, scandal-seeking, self-imploding Jets.If you thought Tebowmania reached a fever pitch last season, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Even before the trade was finalized, every major voice in sports was trying to make sense of the move, with some calling it a publicity stunt and others wondering how on earth the genuinely nice Tebow is going to handle the always-abrasive Rex Ryan, not to mention playing under the white-hot lights of the world’s biggest sports market.And then there’s Mark Sanchez. The Jets incumbent and much-maligned QB will be under heavy scrutiny next year, when every botched pass will be met with chants of “Teeeeboooow!” from the Jets faithful. How will New York’s former golden boy deal with having to share the spotlight with the NFL’s biggest star? Will this turn into the greatest quarterback controversy in the history of the sport? And what will their first meeting be like? Luckily, we just purchased a crystal ball off eBay to help us find out.Tim Tebow: Wow, Mark! What is this place?Mark Sanchez: It’s called Nobu, and it was cool, like, 10 years ago. Have a seat.Tebow: Thanks, Mark! What did you want to see me... Woah! Is that..Sanchez: Yes, it’s Michael Lohan, but don’t look. Celebrities hate it when you stare. That’s just one of many rules you’ll have to abide by if you’re going to make it in this town.Tebow: Gee, Mark, thanks for the advice, but I’m kind of a celebrity myself!Sanchez: Yeah, about that. Is there any way you can tone down that whole “global icon” thing? It’s kind of cramping my style.Tebow: What do you mean?Sanchez: Listen, Tim. There’s a very specific celebrity hierarchy in New York. It goes Jay-Z, Derek Jeter, Jeremy Lin, David Letterman, Mario Batali, Alec Baldwin, Anna Wintour, Alex Rodriguez, Jerry Seinfeld, the entire cast of Spiderman: Turn off The Dark, that guy who gives away free chocolate bars in Chinatown, then me. I’m just starting to get over that whole Linsanity thing, and the last thing I want is to deal with Tebowmania, or whatever we’re calling it these days.Tebow: And I totally get that! I’m not here to wear fur coats or go to disco clubs. I’m here first to worship my lord and savior Jesus Christ, and second, to play some football.Sanchez: About that, Tim. You can’t play. You’re not a very good quarterback. In fact, you stink.Tebow: Were you living under a rock last year? I took a team that was 1-4 when I got there, engineered a string of remarkable comeback wins, took down the mighty Steelers in the first round of the playoffs and captured the imagination of an entire nation just for fun. You, on the other hand, didn’t even make the playoffs. Your own teammates lost faith in you, and the rest of the league thinks you’re a joke. Step aside, Mark. It’s Tebow Time.Sanchez: A boy scout like you won’t last a minute in this town! New York City can be a cold, unforgiving place. Traffic is a nightmare, the paparazzi are lunatics, Kelly Ripa doesn’t return phone calls and rumor has it some buildings don’t even have doormen!Tebow: I spent my first night here reading for underprivileged children while riding a unicycle and juggling tangerines.Sanchez: Wait, how did you hold the book?Tebow: With my mouth, obviously.Sanchez: Yeah, well, Rex Ryan swears a lot! Whaddya think about that?Tebow: Listen, Mark, I gotta go. I’ve got a date with Kate Upton.Sanchez: Wait, what?Tebow: Oh, er, um, did I say Kate Upton? I meant to say... Fate Gupton?Sanchez: Phew. OK. You should take her to Lavo. Mention my name at the door, and you should get half off coat check.Tebow: OK, Mark. Later.Sanchez: See you at camp, Tim! (To self) Man, what a nice guy! Continue Reading
http://www.askmen.com/sports/fanatic_400/413_tim-tebow-and-mark-sanchez.html ]More...[/url]
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by irish_2003
