The Watch Snob is in.A Lesson In Watchmaking Mechanics

Dear Snob,May I ask your opinion of Sinn’s patented DIAPALtechnology, which is used to extend the service life of mechanical watches withoutlubrication checks? Does DIAPAL suggest the potential for a genuine advance in horologicalengineering? Let’s break down the basic goal ofwatchmaking, shall we? The primary objective is to tell time and, one hopes, to tell it asaccurately and precisely as possible. Accuracy and precision are the same thing, you say?Not in the world of watchmaking. Accuracy is a watch’s ability to tell the time atany given moment. But, as the pithy saying goes, even a broken watch is accurate twice aday. But precision is the watch’s ability to be accurate over a long period of timeand through a variety of conditions. The secondthing to know is that friction is the enemy of precise timekeeping, as it is the enemy ofmany other things, from automotive engines to certain sexual proclivities. In a watch, thepallets of the balance assembly are in constant contact with the balance wheel and overtime simply wear out, which affects the rate. The usual solution to this is to keep thepallets lubricated, but that only lasts so long. Naturally this sort of thingdoesn’t sit well with the Germans, who view it as a flaw in the system and anopportunity for overengineering. And we know how much the Germans like to overengineerthings. Sinn’sDIAPAL (“DIAmond PALlet”) technology amounts to using the hardest substance onearth for the pallets in the balance assembly, hence thumbing its Teutonic noses atfriction. Of course, while the Germans are good at engineering things, their ability tocome up with flashy names for their technology is a little lacking. Maybe they should havebrought in the French to brainstorm the branding. On second thought, that’s not agood idea. The Everest Watch Controversy

Snob,I couldn’t help but think of you when I read about Kobold’stroubles with its Everest watch. Apparently the dial is made from rocks Mike Koboldcollected from Mount Everest and the government of Nepal is not happy. What do you thinkof this controversy and what do you think in general of watch parts made from rare objectslike the Titanic or meteorites? I have followed theEverest watch controversy with some detached amusement. Though I don’t deign to be awriter, I see a sort of metaphor in this story: The American watch brand with itsquasi-military bluster conquering the foreign mountain, bringing back its booty and thenselling it under the auspices of gratitude. Stallone could play Mr. Kobold in the movieversion of this tale, if he could part ways with his Panerai for a while. As for the use of rare materials in watches, I care littleabout such gimmicks. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer that watchmakers pay moreattention to what’s inside the case. As forthe Kobold Everest, I’m guessing that is not the watch Mr. Kobold will be sending meto assess. Speaking of that, I’m still waiting. Question from a Watch Knob

OK, I did it. After months of reading your opinions, I sold my solid gold Rolex andbought one. Yes, you are right. It's exquisite. Nothing else I wear no matter how costlygives me as much pleasure, confidence and a sense of wonder just knowing what's going oninside it. I wear it every chance I get, but maybe I’m not worthy of it as Isheepishly hide it in my sleeve until I reach my destination and then pull back my sleeveslightly just in case there's someone around with some level of sophistication.Occasionally there are, and with this watch, I never get the normal raised eyebrow or an"I'm impressed" smile that I get with any of my other watches. With this, the few whorecognize it just drop their jaw, rush over, grab my wrist and ask, "Is this a..." They always stop and wait for me to fill in the blank, and there's nothing moreembarrassing than owning one, appreciating one, being able to afford one but not beingable to fill in that bloody blank. So how on earth do you pronounce A. Lange &Söhne? If you are wearing an A. Lange& Söhne, you can pronounce it however you damn well please. But to be safe,“Long and Sons” will do, lest you be accused of being, well, a WatchSnob. OK, I’m feeling charitable today.It’s “lahng-uh und zone-uh.” You’re welcome. Continue Reading

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