The Watch Snob is in. A Watch Fit For A Zombie Apocalypse

Hi Snob,Which watch is ideal to own during the zombie apocalypse? The watch should be durable and useful while maintaining class and sophistication (so not a Kobold). The JLC Reverso is the first watch that comes to mind because of its ability to protect itself during hand-to-hand zombie combat, but it otherwise has limited functionality. The Sarpaneva Korona Moonshine is an attractive choice because of its illuminated dial and moon phase function, which would be useful for late-night hunting and fishing, but it is a bit clunky and may become a nuisance during daily activities. I am sure you will agree that even a zombie apocalypse is no excuse to slap on a G-Shock, and I hope you can recommend the perfect watch for this inevitable scenario.A first sentence like yours would typically consign a question to the dustbin, but apparently the editors who screen these things for me were asleep at the wheel when yours arrived. But I’m feeling whimsical today, so I’ll play along. Never let it be said that the Snob has no sense of humor.First of all, if the dead rise and walk the Earth, seeking to kill us all, it will be they who are wearing the Kobolds. I have it on good authority that the walking dead are highly gullible and not very wise with their money. So only wear one if you want to blend in with them, either for diversion or sabotage. But you can save yourself thousands by buying any one of the clone-cased, ETA-powered watches that are being sold now.I’m not sure if zombies can swim, but I suspect their slow movement doesn’t lend itself well to it. So perhaps some sort of dive watch would be useful. Then again, there’s only so much time you can spend in the water. No, I think you were on the right track with the Reverso, but I would instead suggest a different Jaeger-LeCoultre: a Memovox. The alarm complication will wake you up from this silly nightmare so you can get on with your life.Readers, take note: Future questions like this one will be summarily ignored. Cartier's Comeback

Dear Snob,I understand your position on Cartier watches; they are fashion jewelry, not excellent examples of the watchmaker's craft. Sadly, I am smitten with the looks of Cartier Tank watches. Have I detected a ray of horological hope in your writing about Cartier's Tank Anglaise? Might you please enlighten me about any improvements Cartier has made to this latest Tank and if they are sufficient enough to justify the price.First of all, let me correct you: You are referring to my former position on Cartier watches. As I’ve said before, I am willing to give a brand a second look if they change their ways, and Cartier is a watch brand reborn. The Calibre de Cartier was the smoke before the fire, and then the Rotonde de Cartier Flying Tourbillon Minute Repeater and the Rotonde de Cartier Central Chronograph are nothing short of spectacular achievements. It’s clear that when Carole Forestier-Kasapi took the helm of the watchmaking department, she threw out the pretenders who were keeping seats warm. Thank God for women.The goodness is trickling down to Cartier’s most famous icon, the Tank, and its beauty is finally more than skin deep. The Louis Cartier may be my favorite Tank, and it has a manufacture movement inside, even if it’s not Cartier’s own but borrowed from Richemont sibling Piaget. The Tank Anglaise is Cartier through and through, and does use Cartier’s own self-winding movement that it developed for the Calibre de Cartier a few years ago. The styling feels a bit clumsy to me, lacking the finesse of the Louis Cartier. If you buy it, you’re the one who has to look at it. But I do give my blessing to its all-important soul. Question from a Watch Knob

About a year ago, I fell in love with a brand of watch. Since then, I have purchased one and love every single piece of it. I have looked at many watch blogs and websites but can't find a review as to what "experts" think of this watch. I was wondering if you had any experience with this watch or know anyone that does. The watch is a Steffen Julius. They make a limited number of watches and then break the mold. Once all 1,500 are sold, they create a new style. There are currently about six different Steffens available right now. I would love to hear what you think of this timepiece.Never having heard of a Steffen Julius, I proceeded to visit the brand’s website. I now blame you for not only wasting 38 seconds of my life but also for burning the horrible image of that watch in my brain. It is reminiscent of a time when I was 10 and accidentally walked into the bathroom as my Great Aunt Marlene was getting ready for a bath. I still wake up in sweats from that image.There is a reason why you can’t find out what experts think of this watch. They don’t. Continue Reading

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