How To Make A Long-Distance Relationship Work
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Rapid global changes can force you to change your life, as I wrote about here.With the Greek criss, my career goals altered, my sense of stability became uncertain and,naturally, my relationships followed this evolution. In my early 20s, it was the naivetyof youth that brought me to Germany, and I dealt with a long-distance relationship betweenMunich and Athens. It was a couple of thousand miles that eventually broke us up. Today,due to a career move, Iwill be facing a much greater distance -- that of tens of thousands of miles. Can itwork?Most will say this kind of relationship is doomed from the start, but itseems wrong to condemn it during the digital era. As long as a relationship has strongroots, distance can be coped and dealt with. Two years ago, I dealt with anothermicro-distance relationship, between two same-country towns that were separated by only400 miles. This did give me the opportunity to just jump on my bike and drive straight toher, but now it is different, and the distance can only be transcended by spending a fewthousand dollars on a last-minute ticket from Australia to Europe. So this time Iwon’t rely on the whole “if it’s meant to be” scenario; I willhave to work on it to last.Checkpoints and a finish line
First things first: There has to be reasonable planning of the time you will spend apart.You need to have a goal, whether that is the end of studies or a job contract that madeyou move away in the first place. Try to write things down first: Is theprospect of a family with the woman you love more important than giving everything up andmoving abroad? Will the current situation in your life eventually end up ruining yoursense of independence and, consequently, your relationship? An added difficulty comes fromthe fact that maybe both sides will have to move, one to the Eastern Hemisphere and theother to the Western. I face this situation. You need to know your goals, and follow smallsteps toward the big one. If you see yourself failing, maybe it makes more sense toquit and join your significant other. There is a Greek saying that “Eyes that arenot seen are easily forgotten.” If you are going to be apart for a year,try to meet up six times -- half the times at your country and the rest at hers. Havingdealt with this situation, I can surely say that after the 40-day mark, you start toreally lose the sense of companionship. So fight it. Sign up to be a frequentflyer -- chances are that one out of five trips will be free, and that means buying her aticket, too. If nothing else works, always spend the holidays together. Thanksgiving,Christmas, birthdays and summer breaks are periods that are worth much more than any otherday in a relationship, because they grow it. Continue Reading
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