Learning To Deal With Real Women
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I was poking around the internet this past week, as I'm wont to do, when I noticed somecelebs making more than their typical fuss about the ever-contentious issue of body image.Amid heated discussion over her weight gain, Lady Gaga posted near-nude photos with thecaption, “I’ve struggled with bulimia my whole life." “News” brokethat Jessica Simpson has approached two doctors for lap-band surgery, proving that WeightWatchers can make poorer investment decisions than Lehman Brothers. And, just today, I sawthat Christina Aguilera declared herself pop music’s once and future fat girl, thismost likely being due to Adele being a successful fat girl and Xtina having a shaky graspon the concepts of cause and effect. My point being, I was thinking a lot about the femalebody, but not in the way I usually do when I’m home alone and bored. Body image is a complicated thing, but discussions on it, by and large, exclude men. Wecertainly feel pressures of our own, whether they be real or imagined. Just look at thatshirtless action star of the moment. Now look atyourself. Now look at him. Now look at yourself. Rinse, lather and repeat until thetears start flowing. Regardless, the effect of the media’s portrayal and apparentcontrol over the ideal female form affects us in very real ways, even if we are excludedfrom the conversation. We’re supposed to decry the entertainmentindustry’s penchant for models with unrealistic proportions, but we can't deny thatMarisa Miller is truly some grade-A boner material. The conundrum for us men is how tonegotiate between reality and the media's fantasies. While I doubt many of us can recallexactly when, where or how we first laid eyes upon the nude female form, I'm sure we canall remember the feelings it... um… inspired. For some readers, the old tropes ofstumbling upon dad’s stash or a quasi-well-intentioned older brother likely ringtrue. Forguys my age and younger, the internet probably played a large role. I’m suremany a man under 30 has fond memories of hastily attempting to download some tasteful nudeover a 36.6k connection, while anxiously listening out for their parents' footsteps. Idistinctly remember my own attempts at saving a particular shot of Ginger Spice (shut up,it was the '90s), who, as the slowly loading picture arduously revealed, is not really aginger at all. Regardless, chances are, whatever you were able to get yourhands on was hardly an accurate representation of reality: over-airbrushed centerfoldspreads, genetic-freak models with comic-book proportions or even past-their-prime pornstars precariously posed and contorted to avoid unflattering angles. Either way, whateverwe saw as younger men had a direct influence on the mental schemas we formed of the femalebody: bubble butts and buxom breasts most likely being de rigueur. Continue Reading
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