It was revealed this week that LCD manufacturer Sharp has startedmass-producing 1080p screens for use in the next generation of 5” tablet-phones (Irefuse to say “phablet”), with HTC and OPPO already having devices lined up touse the screen. While a screen density of 443 pixels-per-inch may sound awesome on paper,these companies are driving full steam ahead into the latest meaningless spec fight thatwill no doubt entrap boatloads of suckers.Like giving your 4-year-old a41-megapixel camera phone or building a 32” 4K television, Sharp has sailed pastutility and into the realm of goofy. Let’s look at what these“super-retina” screens are really pushing. Apple’smarketing jargon aside, the term “retina screen” simply refers to the point atwhich the pixels disappear due to your eyes being unable to perceive beyond thatresolution. “Retina,” in this sense, means, “haha, retina, yousuck.” The bigger the device, the further you hold it from your face, and,therefore, the less resolution you need to be deemed a “retina” screen. The math for this has been around since long before Apple released its iPhone 4, so itdoesn’t require much guesswork to figure out at exactly what resolution a 5”screen becomes “retina.” The Samsung Galaxy S III has a 4.8” screen, andat 1280x720, it’s already slightly over the perceptible threshold -- andthat’s assuming you’re holding it at the up-front-and-personal distance of11.5” from your face. Anything over the maximum perceived resolution andyou’re basically admitting that you believe sacrificing good battery life forsomething you can’t even see is a good idea. These screens are the emperor’snew clothes, and soon emperor’s everywhere will be sold on this nonessentialtechnology.So Sharp, HTC and OPPO all think you’re the kind of guywho likes to sport his phone like a pair of VR-glasses and have to charge his battery waytoo frequently in order to support resolutions he can’t even see. If you knowsomeone who plans on purchasing one, they’re probably what the ladies refer to as a“mouth-breathing simpleton,” and they’ll be happy to know that each ofthese 5” 1080p screens comes with not one, but two bottles of snake oil. With alimit of just 20 per household, if you act now you can get the Slap Chop for a mere $15more.
All that’s left is for Sharp to change its name to “Sharp tothe Point of Being Retarded™.”
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