You don’t usually think of the wine business as a blood sport. For most of us, wine conjures up images of sun-speckled vineyards, romantic picnics with Pinot Noir, or, let’s get real, mornings when you wake up to find a few empty jugs of Carlo Rossi or cheap Chianti and several passed out friends lying around your apartment.

Watching the new documentary Somm, you realize that the brave souls who actually decide to become master sommeliers are not spending their time lounging in wine cellars and sipping the fruit of the vine as money rains down on them. These people are Vikings. They’re warriors. Maybe not physically, but mentally? They’re like Attila the Hun or J.J. Watt, only instead of benching 400 pounds, they’re memorizing 5,000 flashcards and learning to blind taste test with such precision that they can tell not only what type of wine they’re drinking, but what region it’s from, what year and what maker all in about 30 seconds. It’s insane.

Somm follows four men (Brian McClintic, DLynn Proctor, Dustin Wilson, and Ian Cauble) as they study for the intense, high-pressure Master Sommelier Exam. It’s the highest honor in the world of wine, and less than 200 people have passed the Master Level in more that 40 years. Even the name is scary: The Court of Master Sommeliers. It’s one of the world’s most prestigious, secretive and exclusive organizations.

First-time feature director Jason Wise had been working in a high-end restaurant with McClintic, who eventually decided to dedicate over a year of his life to training for the exam. Wise decided to film the process, and they spent three years shooting. The movie plays like The Amazing Race meets the world’s most high-stakes chess match. It’s funny, tense, inspiring and, by the time the four guys straighten their ties and head into the ominous rooms where they’ll take their tests, you’re clenching your fists wondering who will actually pass and who will leave defeated.

Wilson says the filming didn’t bother them, which is crazy when you witness how laser focused these guys are. “Jason is a friend, and it was like there just happened to be cameras floating around,” he says. There are interviews with some of the few master sommeliers who have passed the test and gone on to have illustrious careers in their chosen field (there are women who have passed, and Wise thankfully doesn’t leave them out).

Everyone in the film continually compares the process to the stress and fierce determination that professional athletes experience. Not everyone can hack the test -- you have to be a little insane. Not only do you have to know your wines, but you have to memorize and learn the history, geography and details of each and every region (Did they historically have beet farms? Does the wine have a vague wet cement taste since there are paved roads nearby?). You have to pass anxiety-inducing service exams in which master sommeliers act like high-maintenance nightmare restaurant patrons from hell, and you must possess the skill to retain all of the information you’ve learned and not crack under pressure when a panel of judges is staring you down, waiting for you to correctly guess which wine they’ve put in front of you.

It’s no wonder so few people have what it takes. Continue Reading

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