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I hear you, bro.
In my case, the woman that I loved for 2 years left me and just 2 months later, my boss let me go, with pay however, for medical investigations. 3 months later, I was taken off of payroll, thanks to the dumbass doctor whom I hired to contradict the company's doctor. I felt that I'd lost 2 of the 3 things that I love the most in my life (3rd being my training, of course). I had all of the ammo and only needed the opportunity. Funny thing is, I have my former LE revolver (S&W .357 Magnum) but never wanted to risk having it sitting in police evidence room. So I used some of the shitload of pain pills that I have from my knee surgery and washed it down with Southern Comfort/Coca-Cola (read that a wrestler used the same to off himself). And what happened? I got a freaking good night sleep.
But a few months later when I had reached my lowest, I kicked the company's ass, got back to work, and they had to pay me a year and a half salary for the time that I was off because I proved that I was in great health.
What a bunch of dumb fucks!!