I'm about to lose control of my mind. For the last hour I've been crying and throwing up and I don't know how much longer I can handle this. Today has been the worst day I've ever had in my life. I'm at the bottom of a fucking pit I can't crawl out of.

I've had money invested into other things trying to set something up, and paying for that alone and bills have enabled me to barely get by. You have to spend money to make money, that sort of thing..

Today I had my lady and I's electric bill, and rent on a money order. This morning my fuel pump in my car went out, so I couldn't drive to work. That's how it started off.....

She took me to work, and came and got me on her lunch. I dropped her back off at work, and then everything got worse. I had to cash this money order out to buy a fuel pump for my car, which was only like $20...no biggy. I have been pretty wired the last couple of days, not sleeping much from work and class. So I went into the gas station to grab a fountain drink, and left my wallet, with just under $800 in cash on the fucking counter.

I drove back to our home, and realize what I've done...the next thing I know I fly my ass back to the gas station, find my wallet, and the fucking money is out of it......

I totally just fucked me and my girl both over.....

I'm in a hole I can't get us out of...

She's off in 30 minutes and I don't know what the hell to do or tell her. I feel like I'm losing control of myself right now.

What the hell do I do???