Yea Bro I do too.... I wonder if I my life would have been better and where would I be right now. My grandparents raised me and they loved me very much but still yet its not like a fathers love. I had to teach my own self how to play sports. But I will tell you it has made me a great dad, I have two kids a 15yr old and a 8 yr old. I love them to death. I am there for them no matter what and I have got to experience things through them that I never got to do as a child with my father. My son is my bestfriend and my daughter always keeps me laughing. And as far as drinking I dont ever touch the stuff for fear of turning out like him. Mex I know how u feel and It bothers me too and drives me as well.