This whole things got me really fucked up.

She has a drinking problem. She's not an alcoholic, but I'm afraid she may be when she is older. When she drinks, she turns into a totally different person. She gets aggressive, violent, confrontational, and she has no off switch. She can't be reasoned with.

I've had a bunch of shit thrown at me, I've had this little 115 lb girl throw my shoulder out of socket when I've restrained her from swinging in my face (pre existing MMA injury 7 years ago, it happens).

I've had her say she's aware that this is a big problem, and have her tell me she's willing to change.....and it hasn't, at all. Shit guys, last week I worked 17 hour days. Prior to that week we'd had another all out fight about her drinking because she starts fights on a constant basis and gets violent. She told me she'd just stop drinking all together, that she was aware that this was a problem, etc......so this week I come home early, two hours early off work to be exact. She's sitting on the couch with her friend and they're both tanked.

This leads to yet another big fight, her leaving for the night, and us making up. Last night was the final straw....same routine and I'd just told her I had it.

I'm not mad about the mean nasty things that she said to me, or that she said she hasn't been happy in months. I'm not mad that she got drunk and I had to call the cops on her dumb ass friend for being drunk, disorderly, and refusing to leave our home. I'm not mad that her friend said a bunch of disrespectful things to me, while she sat on her ass and just listened. If any of my friends were disrespecting my girl their teeth would be on the fucking floor.

It doesn't even piss me off that I've wasted years on this girl, that she's been dishonest to me and herself, and that she's lied about shit. What REALLY fucks with me guys is that she sees ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG with any of this. It's me who's in the wrong, who's a jerk, an asshole, the guy that's yelling at her.

Last night I walked through a door.

No literally, WALKED THROUGH A DOOR. I don't know how I did it, but I somehow generated enough rage and force to walk through a fucking door and knock it off the frame from about 2 feet away, and I'm only in the 215 lb range.

I loved this girl, more than anything. I did everything to make her feel loved, safe, comfortable, and secure....but fuck, you can't help someone who sees nothing wrong with their behavior. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped, am I right?

I knew about this problem when we first got together and started dating but I thought it was just a party girl phase, but it has gotten progressively worse and more frequent this last year. I just hope I made a wise move. It just sucks. I wanted a family with her and a life with her more than anything, but I'm still young. I've always been on great terms with her family, so I let them know what happened and what's going on. I told them everything. I told them every freaking argument/fight we've had from alcohol. She won't listen to me, so maybe she'll listen to them. It just pisses me off that she doesn't see a damn thing wrong with any of this. Fuck