its not selfish. you have to find someone that is into it or understands. you can never be sucessful in this game with nay sayers and negative influence. this is a sport of being consistent and disciplined. going out and partying and such are counter productive. every now and then is all good but it isnt a wise practice. the way it was explained to me by someone i worked with long ago was it is like taking 3 steps forward and 2 steps back every time. the older you get the further it puts you back.